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  <pubDate>Fri, 12 Mar 2010 05:40:43 MST</pubDate>
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    <title>Relationships: turbulent relationship over, but I am deeply hurt</title>
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    <description><![CDATA[Jennifer: I always say that the first time you make excuses for somenes behavior is the first time you should questin the relationship.  you and your kids deserve better.]]></description>
    <pubDate>Thu, 11 Mar 2010 13:29:50 MST</pubDate>
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    <title>Relationships: turbulent relationship over, but I am deeply hurt</title>
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    <description><![CDATA[kimberkitten: I considered that, but I want to give the kids a chance to get over the loss of Blue first.  So they can fully embrace a new pet with a different personality.

I also now realize that his recent mood episode was probably caused by his taking Meridia with his depression/anxiety meds.  (On top of everything else...).  He had been taking it for almost a week when he flipped a switch.  

Seems like a perfect storm of issues to really mess things up.  Borderline, drug interactions, and taking it out on the person closest to you.]]></description>
    <pubDate>Thu, 11 Mar 2010 10:25:29 MST</pubDate>
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    <title>Relationships: turbulent relationship over, but I am deeply hurt</title>
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    <description><![CDATA[Jennifer: great way to look at it. maybe a trip to the human society might be a good distraction if you are ready for another dog.]]></description>
    <pubDate>Thu, 11 Mar 2010 09:27:36 MST</pubDate>
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    <title>Relationships: turbulent relationship over, but I am deeply hurt</title>
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    <description><![CDATA[kimberkitten: You're right.  It's his responsibility.  They are mine.]]></description>
    <pubDate>Thu, 11 Mar 2010 09:00:46 MST</pubDate>
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    <title>Relationships: turbulent relationship over, but I am deeply hurt</title>
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    <description><![CDATA[Jennifer: really bad idea giving him the shots the more you interact with him the harder it will be for you and that will confuse and upset your kids more.  you need a clean break for all of your sakes. especially for your kids.  your focus needs to be on them not on him.]]></description>
    <pubDate>Thu, 11 Mar 2010 08:52:18 MST</pubDate>
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    <title>Relationships: turbulent relationship over, but I am deeply hurt</title>
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    <description><![CDATA[kimberkitten: actually, during the course of the relationship a lot of my friends got alienated.  He was only comfortable around his friends.  He thought mine didn't approve of him and had a million reasons to avoid them.  I know that's a huge red flag, but I ignored it.  

I do have a couple friends who are very helpful and are doing their best to help me right now.  They have watched this thing implode and have always been very suportive, although vocal, about the relationship.  

He lives right downstairs from me, so I do have to see him constantly. 

My kids are great, and a constant joy; but it breaks my heart that this has affected them, too.  He took away the dog he gave us (and we have to see the dog all the time too--when he walks her).  My son has really been upset over that, and my daughter was getting to the point where she wanted to call him Daddy, so she's having a hard time with him leaving the relationship.  She tells me how much she loved him and it breaks my heart.  I don't want to be angry, but my kids are hurting and that angers me.   He was the only boyfriend that I ever allowed to meet my kids.  I don't involve them in my social/romantic life, but I really thought this was a forever thing.  And he knew that it was a huge deal for me.  For him to disregard the relationship so casually over basically nothing...  You can leave me, but I would have thought he would give more concern since the kids were involved-- and it was a mutual decision to involve them.

I'm not crying myself to sleep, and I'm not breaking down constantly, I'm not drinking to drown it out or any other harmful behaviors to mask what's going on.  I'm still functioning at 100%; but I'm hurt, confused, and angry.  I had a gut feeling that this might not be the best relationship for me for a while, but I was committed to working on it.  

An issue I'm dealing with today is that he needs his Testosterone shot tonight, and he can't give it to himself.  I want to let him know I am still willing to do that for him, but I don't know if that's a good idea.  Even though I have no ulterior motives for wanting to do it (I've really thought about it, and I truly just want to help), I don't want to feel the rejection if he doesn't respond or tells me he doesn't want me doing it.  

???]]></description>
    <pubDate>Thu, 11 Mar 2010 05:31:17 MST</pubDate>
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    <title>Relationships: turbulent relationship over, but I am deeply hurt</title>
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    <description><![CDATA[Jennifer: that is a good place to start.  sometimes relationships like yours are much harder to get over.  as you probably already know time is the best healer.  do you have friends to keep your mind occupied? any hobbies that you enjoy.  keeping busy is good but really time and distance are the cures.]]></description>
    <pubDate>Wed, 10 Mar 2010 17:50:01 MST</pubDate>
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    <title>Relationships: turbulent relationship over, but I am deeply hurt</title>
    <guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.completecounselingsolutions.com/forum/topic-Relationships-turbulent-relationship-over%2C-but-I-am-deeply-hurt-t453.html</guid>
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    <description><![CDATA[kimberkitten: I guess I don't know.]]></description>
    <pubDate>Wed, 10 Mar 2010 16:33:33 MST</pubDate>
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    <title>Relationships: turbulent relationship over, but I am deeply hurt</title>
    <guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.completecounselingsolutions.com/forum/topic-Relationships-turbulent-relationship-over%2C-but-I-am-deeply-hurt-t453.html</guid>
    <link>http://www.completecounselingsolutions.com/forum/topic-Relationships-turbulent-relationship-over%2C-but-I-am-deeply-hurt-t453.html</link>
    <description><![CDATA[Jennifer: the first line ofyour post says it all he is borderline and he did a number on you.  what do you miss? do you miss him or the idea of him?]]></description>
    <pubDate>Wed, 10 Mar 2010 15:53:44 MST</pubDate>
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    <title>Relationships: turbulent relationship over, but I am deeply hurt</title>
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    <description><![CDATA[kimberkitten: My boyfriend decided to end our relationship.  I'm struggling with confusion over what happened.  I simply don't understand it.  I'm fairly certain that he either has Boderline Personality Disorder, or something very close to it.  He consistantly displays 7 of the 9 &quot;charachteristics&quot; of a borderline.  So, I guess I understand the underlaying issue; but what is so hard for me are the reasons he gave for ending the relationship.  HE said I talk to much (never shut up) and that he doesn't have any alone time.  The truth is, I only went over when I was invited, and the &quot;talking too much&quot; would occur when he was really moody and taking it out on me, or when we would have a disagreement and I would want to work towards understanding where he was coming from, trying to get my point across and come to a midpoint where we could agree--and he would want to shut down.

I mentioned it in an earlier post, but my (now) ex-boyfriend is transgender FtM, has been in therapy for years, has issues with depression and anxiety, takes ssri's, testosterone therapy, thyroid replacement, and various other Rx's, but also self medicates with Soma and amphetamines (rx diet drugs that he gets from a &quot;friend&quot;).  I have no idea how that all affects his ssri's and moods.  He also drinks a LOT.  

I type that and I keep thinking, what kind of person would be upset over a breakup with someone who is clearly dealing with more than one person's fair share of issues.  But, I really care for and love him.  I love the person, not necessarily what he does.  

To make matters worse, he lives just downstairs for me so I have to see him several times a day.

I have never been this crushed over a breakup in my life.  I don't know what the best way to deal with it is.]]></description>
    <pubDate>Wed, 10 Mar 2010 15:15:28 MST</pubDate>
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    <title>Relationships: Unsure of what to do</title>
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    <description><![CDATA[Jennifer: soundslike you and your husband both need individual counseling to work on your separate issues. for you trust anger and moving forward him his addiction.]]></description>
    <pubDate>Mon, 01 Mar 2010 10:29:58 MST</pubDate>
    <feedburner:origLink>http://www.completecounselingsolutions.com/forum/topic-Relationships-Unsure-of-what-to-do-t451.html</feedburner:origLink>
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    <title>Relationships: Unsure of what to do</title>
    <guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.completecounselingsolutions.com/forum/topic-Relationships-Unsure-of-what-to-do-t451.html</guid>
    <link>http://www.completecounselingsolutions.com/forum/topic-Relationships-Unsure-of-what-to-do-t451.html</link>
    <description><![CDATA[mommykimbee: I don't think he is cheating on me currently. I just need to be able to move past everything, the greif the anger etc. 

He says he is willing to work on our relationship, he said that he knows if he keeps doing what he has been that he will lose me and the kids. He also said that he thinks he has a problem, possibly an addiction.]]></description>
    <pubDate>Mon, 01 Mar 2010 09:14:48 MST</pubDate>
    <feedburner:origLink>http://www.completecounselingsolutions.com/forum/topic-Relationships-Unsure-of-what-to-do-t451.html</feedburner:origLink>
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    <title>Relationships: Unsure of what to do</title>
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    <link>http://www.completecounselingsolutions.com/forum/topic-Relationships-Unsure-of-what-to-do-t451.html</link>
    <description><![CDATA[Jennifer: So what is the issue now, is he cheating?  what would you like to change and is he open to working on your relatonship?]]></description>
    <pubDate>Mon, 01 Mar 2010 04:28:51 MST</pubDate>
    <feedburner:origLink>http://www.completecounselingsolutions.com/forum/topic-Relationships-Unsure-of-what-to-do-t451.html</feedburner:origLink>
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    <title>Lifestyle: Unsure, Sexuality and Family.</title>
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    <description><![CDATA[Jennifer: You have talked to them and been honest with them, that is all you can do.  It is up to them to decide how to respond to you and what you are going through.  Teenagers do go through phases so your mom does believe you will grow out of this, whether you do or not I'm sure it didn't feel good to hear from her.  Do you have other people that you can confide in?  Have you given your parents some space to accept this or just told them and expected them to immediately warm up to the idea?  Sounds as if your family can benefit from family counseling and you might want to suggest that to them.]]></description>
    <pubDate>Mon, 01 Mar 2010 04:26:40 MST</pubDate>
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    <title>Relationships: Unsure of what to do</title>
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    <description><![CDATA[mommykimbee: I have been married for about a year and a half. I met my husband when he was deployed in 03. Things were ok, or atleast I thought for the first 1.5years. 

In 2005 my then boyfriend, started seeing this girl where he was stationed. He broke up with me and in a drunken fit I ended up ODing on some meds. The whole time I was in the hospital he led me to believe that we were getting back together, but as soon as I was out of the hospital he stopped talking to me pretty much. He came down to visit one weekend and we &quot;slept together&quot; afterward he told me you know i have a girlfriend right?  We stopped talking and then a couple months later he calls me up out of the blue and starts telling me how much he missed me and such. I ended up taking him back, in July of 05 I moved back home with my grandma cause she broke her leg. He came down to visit me and he told me that the next week he wouldn't be coming down because he was going home to see his parents. I had a dream that he was cheating on me so I asked him about it and he laughed it off. We a couple days later I needed to get ahold of him but I couldn't reach him so I called up where he worked just to find out that he had taken the week off work to go to Fl.. 

When he got back he moved me in with him and I got pregnant.. Let me put in that off and on the whole time we had problems with him and pornography. 

Things seemed ok other then the porn up until I got pregnant with our son in 2008.. He started working night shift at a hospital.. We got married in August, 3 weeks later I find out that he had been having an online relationship with this girl that lived near his hometown since June. He had told her that he was single with no children. He said he would stop talking to her and everything. So then I find out he's been living a complete and total different online life since he started his job at the hospital. And when he was claiming to be stopping for a nap on the ride home from work (he worked over a hour away) that he was really stopping to watch porn. And he had still been emailing the girl from before. 

He stopped going online until we moved in with my sister and her husband in 09 and then once we moved out I found out (about a month ago) that he had been doing the online thing agan, and was friends with the same chick on fb! Things had been fine until he had decided to use his phone to look up porn in his parents bathroom when we were visiting for christmas.. 

I am having a hard time dealing with everything that has happened since june 08. (I have moved past the other things) And then to make it worse I find out that when he proposed to me, he proposed with his MP ring he had just gotten back from his ex a couple days earlier.. 

I am sorry this is so long, I just cant talk to anyone else about it.. They all have a bias opinion because they are either my family or friends or his..  Thank you in advance]]></description>
    <pubDate>Sun, 28 Feb 2010 19:07:34 MST</pubDate>
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    <title>Lifestyle: Unsure, Sexuality and Family.</title>
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    <description><![CDATA[DimethiconeHedera: Hello, I'm Ivy. I'm a teenager, not yet old enough to move out of the house and struggling with fitting in in my house hold. I really hate to say this, but my mother and father are homophobes. I'm bisexual, and I've tried to come out to my mother, I've sat there down and told her I have feelings for males and females, but she says it's just a phase I'm going though. I keep trying to explain it and she came up with trying to tell me there's no such thing as bisexual. My father I can't even talk to, he brings in religion every time I try to talk about my 'bisexual friend' (really I only have one gay male friend). I want to be accepted by my family, but if that means living a lie for the rest of my life just to please them I'd much rather be dead. I just can't stand going home anymore, I have to hide the fact I'm dating a girl by saying I'm going with more than one friend to some place, or her house.]]></description>
    <pubDate>Fri, 26 Feb 2010 21:15:09 MST</pubDate>
    <feedburner:origLink>http://www.completecounselingsolutions.com/forum/topic-Lifestyle-Unsure%2C-Sexuality-and-Family.-t450.html</feedburner:origLink>
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    <title>Relationships: narcissist  boyfriend &amp;amp; think im paranoid schitzophrenic</title>
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    <description><![CDATA[Jennifer: glad to hear you are on a waiting list to see a therapist.  you need to work on yoursellf.  your upbringing gave you no self esteem.  I know its easier to be with someone but you really need to work on yourself so you can learn how to have a healty relationship.]]></description>
    <pubDate>Thu, 25 Feb 2010 10:56:49 MST</pubDate>
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    <title>Relationships: narcissist  boyfriend &amp;amp; think im paranoid schitzophrenic</title>
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    <description><![CDATA[rachy85: i dont know how to begin with any of this or what i am actually meant to do so if none of it makes sense then i do apologize. 
i have been on and off depression medication since i was 17 and i am now coming up to my 25th birthday (which i gues does have some part to issues i am having especially with myself). 
when i was about 7 or 8 i was forced to look at my transvestite father and watch him in the womans clothing that he had chosen to wear at that time also i was forced to look at pictures of him also in this kind of way. he is not a transvestite in the way that is known however it has been found by a london psychologist that it is a rare newly noticed form of it. anyway, from being forced to look at these i had a nightmare which i still dont know if was nightmare or real that is how bad it was that he and my mum was in my room and one pulling me to look and other not to. when i was 11 i bought a &quot;fitted&quot; fleece nothing girly about it other than it was made to look good on waist etc, my dad went mad at me for having it. i was never allowed to wear makeup or wear girly dresses etc as he would get anoid and start on my mum. my brother is 3 years younger than me and has not had to endure things in the same way i have, but i gues that that is because i am female and he isnt. 
when i was starting to go out drinking (17) i was wearing quite small things and wearing eye makeup which really anoid my dad to the point that he kicked me out and i had to live with my boyfriend at the time. i had already cut my wrists many times by this point and also thought that having too much of my asthma inhaler would do something to me. 
being with this boyfriend i cheated on him with 9 people in the 2 and half years i was with him and had slept with 2 of them, the next boyfriend i had a child with and it turned out after i had got pregnant that he was my second cousin, we stayed together more so because of the child for 3 years however again i cheated with 2 people and slept with them both, my parents disowned me until my boy was born, and i am assuming that only reason my dad bothers so much is because he is a boy. my childs dad and me split up after many arguments even including him throwing me on my now 2 year old child. the last time he was in a building alone with me was the night that he abused me, throtled me and kiked me into the wall by my stomache, i had a bruise the size of a coke can on my right arm for 3 weeks and when i went to work in the club that i worked in i had to cover it up and as it was summer made me even more uncomfortable. 
i then got with a 16 year old that was still in his final year at high school and we lived together for a few months (i was 22) and again i cheated on him 2 times, but this time i split up with him as i disnt want to hurt him or use him anymore, so for the first time since i was 15 i was single but was only for 3 weeks as after the new year i got with the one i am with now. however this is where we get to the narcissist part. we had happy first few months then he started talking to an ex when i wasnt around and denied it, we split up for few weeks, then got back together and he then cheated on me in the june with this girl, denied it we had fight in club and wouldnt talk got back together but i had feelings which have now been  comfirmed that he was cheating on me with another 3 people, yes i know that &quot;you get what you deserve thing&quot; but that is not what bothers me. he was looking after his grandparents at this point so no time to see me plus his mum not liking me didnt help. his nan later died and so he distanced self from me completely. but after few weeks we were talking and found and he agreed that he must be a narcissist  from all that we had read up on is how he was etc. he accepted it and was trying to not be that way but tyhen he split with me and later got with 2 of the ones he had cheated on me with. i went out with a mate for these 5 months but was un happy and had completely lost my sex drive. by now i was 23 i had found out after 5 months that he had been wearing the ring that i had got him which he had not worn when i gave it him and also that he had kept the ring id given back to him as well as a password reminder being &quot;what do i cherish the most&quot; and the answer being my childs name, all this showed me that he did want to get back with me. this was may of last year. since november we have been arguing a lot and i have been back of my medication since august as i was a lot worse on it. but since then also he does not want to call me beautiful etc and that i should just know that that is what he thinks of me, and have not slept together since then and his reasoning is that he is seasonal with it as in winter makes him ill but now he saying doesnt know why he not wanting to as he does not &quot;see to himself&quot; and nothing happens when we sleep naked with each other. he will not talk to me about issues in his head and when he is in this kind of mood he is not affectionate at all now i do need just like everyone affection at times but i dont get any and it makes me worse because when i ask him to give me a little bit of hugs or kisses without me feeling like i am forcing him to he tells me i am telling him what to do. last week we had a huuuge argument again and in it he blurted out all that wrong with him and we were on verge of splitting up but i know in his mind he does want to be with me and we havent split up for the sake of my now 4 year old child who has had him in his life more than his bio dad whoim lives at his parents and my child goes there every weekend but bio dad is either in work or with his girlfriend.  now in some of arguments we have been having he kept teling me just snap out of how i am and to stop thinking how i do. now in my head i think all people around me hate me, that i am no good etc and i know that this is some other part  of me that i used to repress but now seems to be coming out more especially in an argument as i dont feel like i am involved i feel like i am in my head and you know what it feels like to be in a que behind some one taller than you thata is what i feel like in myself however i will just snap and say horrible stuff and then i get back to seeing properly and dont fuly know whats what. my boyfriend grandad is ill gaian after being in hospital in and out since xmas but is a stubbon irish guy and isnt going easily, my boyfriend has had to start going down there again to help look after him. 
schitzophrenic part reason as to why i think i have this is that i was reading up on &quot;why do i think people hate me&quot; and kept getting paranoid schitzophrenic sites so i read 6 of them and they all had about delusions aboiut how think people percieve them. i keep trying to tell the doctors that i have an imbalance in my head and have even tried to have anti depresants from a herbal shop but again they made me worse. i just dont know what to do and also i dont fully know if boyfriend is happy with me but i guess if wasnt that he really wouldnt still be living with me. another thing was meant to say is that this boyfriend is first that i havenot and do not want to cheat on, not because i am scared of him but just because i actually dont even look at other males in that way anymore etc. 
i am sorry if you think that this is just a random rant with no meaning but i as say dont know what to do or how to be especially when i know boyfriend wants alone time to play on his games on pc but i am more of a comfoter than to just sit back and watch him keep all in. i put everyone else before me and even my health as well as i sure you have noticed i apologise too much for things that dont even need apologising for. 
any response on this would be greatfuly recieved 
just for extra information i have been put on a waiting list for seeing a councellor but i do not know when it will be that i will get to see them.
thankfully rach]]></description>
    <pubDate>Thu, 25 Feb 2010 10:06:00 MST</pubDate>
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    <title>Relationships: Is this TOO complicated?</title>
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    <description><![CDATA[Jennifer: no of course you don't deserve to be treated that way.  the fact that you are questioning who you are means he has done a number on your self esteem.

no all relationships are not bad and when your in a relationship and you have to make excuses for that person then its time to examine what is going on.

therapy is wonderful to gain insight into who you are what type of people you go for, don't view it as a negative.

bottom line is that you can talk to him, enter therapy with him but if he doesn't see a problem then yu are stuck with a decision]]></description>
    <pubDate>Wed, 24 Feb 2010 18:53:47 MST</pubDate>
    <feedburner:origLink>http://www.completecounselingsolutions.com/forum/topic-Relationships-Is-this-TOO-complicated%3F-t448.html</feedburner:origLink>
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    <title>Relationships: Is this TOO complicated?</title>
    <guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.completecounselingsolutions.com/forum/topic-Relationships-Is-this-TOO-complicated%3F-t448.html</guid>
    <link>http://www.completecounselingsolutions.com/forum/topic-Relationships-Is-this-TOO-complicated%3F-t448.html</link>
    <description><![CDATA[kimberkitten: flawed I'm ok with.  I'm flawed.  I have bad days.  I don't always react as well as I could.  I don't even pretend to be perfect.  

I guess what I'm asking is, is there something wrong with me for allowing myself to be treated like this?  Is it just a bad relationship?  Is this what all relationships are like?  Do I just need to work on myself more?  Does everyone belong in therapy?  I feel like a generally happy, well adjusted person with pretty much all of my stuff together (I get to work every day, my kids get to school. Bills are paid, everyone's fed.  We're all basically happy and active).  My relationship kinda stinks right now and I'm having a difficult time working that portion out in my head as to what to do, but for the most part life is good.  

Yet, when I have an issue to bring up with the bf, he tells me that I need therapy.]]></description>
    <pubDate>Wed, 24 Feb 2010 18:33:03 MST</pubDate>
    <feedburner:origLink>http://www.completecounselingsolutions.com/forum/topic-Relationships-Is-this-TOO-complicated%3F-t448.html</feedburner:origLink>
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    <title>Relationships: Is this TOO complicated?</title>
    <guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.completecounselingsolutions.com/forum/topic-Relationships-Is-this-TOO-complicated%3F-t448.html</guid>
    <link>http://www.completecounselingsolutions.com/forum/topic-Relationships-Is-this-TOO-complicated%3F-t448.html</link>
    <description><![CDATA[Jennifer: unfortunately we don't get to see potential and date that person you are dating a person that has flaws and you need to be okay with the person he is not who he could be.]]></description>
    <pubDate>Wed, 24 Feb 2010 18:17:20 MST</pubDate>
    <feedburner:origLink>http://www.completecounselingsolutions.com/forum/topic-Relationships-Is-this-TOO-complicated%3F-t448.html</feedburner:origLink>
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    <title>Relationships: Is this TOO complicated?</title>
    <guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.completecounselingsolutions.com/forum/topic-Relationships-Is-this-TOO-complicated%3F-t448.html</guid>
    <link>http://www.completecounselingsolutions.com/forum/topic-Relationships-Is-this-TOO-complicated%3F-t448.html</link>
    <description><![CDATA[kimberkitten: why am I with him...  I love him.  He is funny.  He is so good to his friends and elderly people.  We share a love of gardening.  I admire the courage it took for him to accept and make the changes that needed to be made within his body to match his mind and soul.  

But I thought when I got involved with him that the person I saw would be the person I would date.  I am not dating the &quot;friend&quot;, &quot;neighbor&quot;, &quot;son&quot;.  The person I am dating is someone altogether.  

Here is where the problem lies.  I treat others as I want to be treated.  I love him as I want to be loved.  I do the same thing with my friends and I usually end up just as disappointed.  I cannot comprehend how you can treat somone so well and be treated poorly in return.  I am not unkind to him.  I am dependable and giving, but in return...  not so much.

But I see what he is capable of, and I love that person.]]></description>
    <pubDate>Wed, 24 Feb 2010 17:34:10 MST</pubDate>
    <feedburner:origLink>http://www.completecounselingsolutions.com/forum/topic-Relationships-Is-this-TOO-complicated%3F-t448.html</feedburner:origLink>
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    <title>Relationships: Is this TOO complicated?</title>
    <guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.completecounselingsolutions.com/forum/topic-Relationships-Is-this-TOO-complicated%3F-t448.html</guid>
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    <description><![CDATA[Jennifer: you tell me, why are you with him??]]></description>
    <pubDate>Wed, 24 Feb 2010 17:11:59 MST</pubDate>
    <feedburner:origLink>http://www.completecounselingsolutions.com/forum/topic-Relationships-Is-this-TOO-complicated%3F-t448.html</feedburner:origLink>
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    <title>Relationships: Is this TOO complicated?</title>
    <guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.completecounselingsolutions.com/forum/topic-Relationships-Is-this-TOO-complicated%3F-t448.html</guid>
    <link>http://www.completecounselingsolutions.com/forum/topic-Relationships-Is-this-TOO-complicated%3F-t448.html</link>
    <description><![CDATA[kimberkitten: My boyfriend and I have been together for about 8 months.  Every so often he goes through periods where he's depressed, unhappy with whatever, and I get to take the brunt of it.  I can intellectuallize that the underlying problem is not mine; but the backlash comes out with displeasure towards me.  All of a sudden there are issues with me.  I am too demanding.  I need too much reassurance.  I am too needy.  I am moving too fast.  Whatever.  Even if three days before he's in my arms tellng me that he wants to put a ring on my finger and move into a home together, if this is where he is emotionally, then I am :::fill in the blank::: if I move along those lines.

I get accused of being jealous of his friends.  These are people that he has, at one point or another, has said have made disparaging remarks about me.  His friends have told me that he has made disparaging remarks about me, as well.  So, when he tells me that he wants to be around these people I get confused, ask about it, and then an argument ensues with ME being accused of being in the wrong.

I actually do not care that he goes out and sees his friends.  What I do mind is that once he goes out, he seems to drink way too much, goes from place to place, and makes decisions that probably would be best made sober.  Like getting tattoos or spending money online.  I do not think it's responsible to spend 8 hours in a bar, be it one bar or three.  I certainly do not think it's responsible to drive after that.   Not that I haven't made my own share of mistakes in life.  But, when meeting up with friends means 8-9 hours in a bar...  

He can also seem to show physical affection to his dogs, but not to me.  It's not very often that he will hold me ot cuddle with me, but the dogs get a ridiculous amout of cuddles and love and kisses.  They are held all night long, and on the couch...  But if I'm having a bad day, or a crisis, and I need to be held or reassurance, he will tell me he's not that kind of person and can't do it.  I look at his behavior, and I feel like he just can't do it for ME.

I pay for almost all of the groceries, even though we live in separate households.  I usually do the driving.  I pay for the meals and drinks when we eat out about 90% of the time.  I just gave him $2000 for a dog.  He asks to use my paypal account for ebay stuff and never pays it back.  he has charged almost 200 for jeans to Abercrombie to my bank account and never offered to pay it back.  Asked me to pick up over a hundred dollars in prescriptions and never offered to pay it back.  But when there's something small and he goes to hand me a twenty and I shrug it off, because at that point---what's the point???--- HE get's offended!!  Well, I just had my car need major transmission work and several other repairs that I couldn't afford, and no offer of any help at all.  But he is driving me to work, although his attitude is not a gracious one, even though I drove him around for months when his foot was broken.  It's crappy.  But when I offer to get a cab, I get attitude, too.  I don't know the right thing to do!  But it's always wrong!

I know right now he's got an issue with his weight, and he's taking meds for it, and he's on a diet.  I've been super supportive and making special meals and counting his calories.  I won't drink beer if he's not so he won't feel bad, etc.   I won't eat foods he can't in front of him, etc...  so I understand that he's going through a hard time.  He's also been sick and not feeling well.  He's had mono, but he's not so sick that he can't do what he WANT's to do, ya know??  I feel terrible typing that, but it's true.  He's also a transgender Female to Male.  So, he's got some hormonal issues.  It's difficult living in the wrong skin and there are issues being on Testosterone therapy, and I try and be supportive of that.  We are not a &quot;normal&quot; couple.  No matter what he wants to think. (And sex is a WHOLE other issue....)

There are days when I ask myself WHY am I with him?  WHY do I put up with this?  WHY WHY WHY??  I have a good job, I have two beautiful kids (who do not know he wasn't born a he), I have my life together, I am fit, attractive, most people love to be around me...  so why do I put up with this?  Because I love him.  And when I think of ending it, my heart breaks.  

But is that what I need?  I have no idea what to do.]]></description>
    <pubDate>Wed, 24 Feb 2010 15:09:48 MST</pubDate>
    <feedburner:origLink>http://www.completecounselingsolutions.com/forum/topic-Relationships-Is-this-TOO-complicated%3F-t448.html</feedburner:origLink>
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  <item>
    <title>Relationships: Husband is a complete PR**CK! Plz Help me find a way out!</title>
    <guid isPermaLink="true">http://www.completecounselingsolutions.com/forum/topic-Relationships-Husband-is-a-complete-PR%2A%2ACK%21-Plz-Help-me-find-a-way-out%21-t447.html</guid>
    <link>http://www.completecounselingsolutions.com/forum/topic-Relationships-Husband-is-a-complete-PR%2A%2ACK%21-Plz-Help-me-find-a-way-out%21-t447.html</link>
    <description><![CDATA[Jennifer: this forum is not for unsafe behavior and if you and your husband are going to use it for that then i will have to delete your profile.  Be safe and do what you need to do to protect yourself and find a way out.]]></description>
    <pubDate>Mon, 22 Feb 2010 06:08:49 MST</pubDate>
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