Afraid it is happening again

[minksmom]

For 2 straight years I had miscarriages, i just recently took a preg. test and found out that i am pregnant. the thing is that i started to bleed again and fear that I am having another miscarriage. This is very disappointing and i dont know what i should do? is there any advice that you can give?

[Jennifer]

GO TO YOUR DOCTOR. Do not mess around with this. It might just be spot bleeding, but you need to know. Let me know what happens.

[minksmom]

well, i went to the doctor turned out that i had an ectopic preganancy and - i had to have emergency surgery. my right fallipon tube burst and according to the doc i had soo much blood in my belly - a normal person would not have made it. Well, now that I have one tube i am now wondering would i be one of those woman who will not be able to have children -All in all, my spirits are up (lying to myself)- I am now drinking alot heavier-I know this- i think i am doing this to surpress my anger with my relationship- my situtation knowing that i might not be able to have children-and the fact that, trust in this relationship has diminish and I am still living and having sex with this man. I'm confuse. - I know this! I dont know what to say next.

[Jennifer]

Have you found out anything else about your body? I am glad that you are okay. There are so many ways to have babies now a days and the technolgical advances are amazing. Drink, eat, feel sad and then there has to be a time when you start to feel better. Not at first, if you didn't feel sad, that would concern me more

[minksmom]

i hate to say this- but a little part of me does not feel sad about the situation. Like I said, I think i am drinking more to cover up the saddness. As all woman, I do want a child of my own- and in today's world- there are soo many ways to concieve. I dont feel any remorse about what has happen- I think it is more of a releif. The Doctor said that i am okay and that i still can get pregnant. Also, i found out that i have High blood pressure in which i take meds for now. But so far, I think I am doing ok.

[Jennifer]

Hey
I am alittle confused by your statement. You say that you are not sad, but you are drinking to cover up the sadness? Please explain.

[minksmom]

What I mean- is that i am drinking alot over the sadness of thinking I will not be able to have children- Not the sadness of the loss. I am kind of releive over this. I am releive due to the fact that it was the wrong time to bring any child into this relationship. Since the doctor given the all clear stating that I can have children I think i can slow up on drinking that often.

[Jennifer]

Okay, do you want to talk about the relationship part?

[minksmom]

i wrote u along time ago- to express my anger - that the gentleman i am currently seeing cheated on me with a young lady for 2 years "per Her". We are currently trying to work things out- but at time of us going thru this i found out that my falliapon tube burst and had an ectopic preg. this is why I am relieved that the pregnancy did not go thru- due to I could not be with a person that cheats on the mother of his child. i also, told you that- i still go thru his phone and check behind him - due to his deceitfulness- I have calmed down alot in the last 5 months, about throwing things in his face when we argue- I still drink alot due to I just cant get over the "cheating".

[Jennifer]

Okay, I do applogizie for not remembering about your cheating guy, but who is the drinking hurting you or him? Do you love him and want be with him? If you do then, you need to find a way to work things out with him, instead of damaging yourself more.

[minksmom]

i do understand that drinking is hurting myself & i do love him and i do want to try to work things out- but the deceitfulness is what i cant get over. I told myself the other day that I was going to try harder- then i look at "maury" or some other show then all of a sudden the pain comes back. I start thinking of the crap he has done to me- then i get mad- and start drinking again- (I'm I crazy?)

[Jennifer]

Nah, your hurt and feeling sorry for yourself because he cheated and you don't want to be with him anymore. and yeah, maury is not the best to watch, unless you want a laugh

[Jennifer]

Okay, I do applogizie for not remembering about your cheating guy, but who is the drinking hurting you or him? Do you love him and want be with him? If you do then, you need to find a way to work things out with him, instead of damaging yourself more.