is it cheating??

chrisica1979 · Joined: 12 Mar 2009 Posts: 1

Let me preface my question with stating a little background. My fiance & I have been together for 2 1/2 years. For about 2 years 3 months of it, my fiance has rarely initiated sex with me (one time a month is a miracle). I am the one keeping our 1-2 times per week sex life alive. He watches porn regularly (not addictively) but probably 5-6 times per week. I am fine with that provided we have sex so obviously there has been some fighting about that. Our most recent fight about this was Tuesday night. Come to find out that Wednesday he signed up for a match.com profile. He doesn't know I know. I honestly stumbled across it while looking up something else online but the autofill function gave him away. I don't know if I should confront him - he hasn't cheated and I don't think he would. I do think he could be planning to get out and maybe lining himself up for that. Heck maybe he did it so see if I am snooping on him (I did in the past with the porn). I don't know if I should throw him out (he is out of work and I support both of us) or if I should keep it to myself and sit back and see if things get better. I love him so much and I am terrified of losing him. But if he is going to neglect me sexually and look for dates online, I can't stay with him. Help please!

Jennifer · Site Admin Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 2356

Yes you should talk to him, but using the word confrontation is already starting a fight. There is something going on with him, but if he made a match profile than he is looking to get out and you two need to decide if this is what you want.

If he is doing it to see if you are snooping, well that is just as bad and you two need some serious relationship counseling in order to get your relationship on a trust/communication pattern that you both are happy with.

PlanB · Joined: 22 Mar 2009 Posts: 4 Location: Far Far away~

Hey... If its really disturbing you sit him down and have a talk with him. If he's a good guy he'll come clean about it... The porn on the other hand... Heh... How should I put this... Men are men... They don't change with that kind of thing. Maybe he's not having sex a lot with you cause' he's uncomfortable about his body...or size (Had to be said sorry). That's just the... Sunny side of things.
Then again... He could be cheating...
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prelandra14 · Joined: 07 Jan 2009 Posts: 18 Location: Fresno

If he's not having sex with you and he rather watches porn than get some real action, that is a problem
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