having a very hard time

[minksmom]

I am truely having a hard time getting over the affair he had. just recently, we had an arguement and i left for a couple of days. Now Valentines day in coming upon us. and the only thing i can think about is last year. I did not get anything i.e. a gift, a word, any sex nothing. I keep pray to GOD for him to relieve this feeling from me. and Slowly it is easing. But just the images and the words keep replaying in my mind. I want this feeling to stop. I'm trying to be humble. I'm trying to get back to the person i use to be before i found out about the affair. I just dont think i can be that person again.

[Jennifer]

honestly, you might not be, but it doesn't sound as if you want to be that person again. you have the opportunity to become a new person that appreciates you for who you are, not someone that is okay with the crap that you got last year. you deserve better

[minksmom]

the thing is i dont think that i am strong enough! Everyone around me is telling me the same thing. but, i think i am scared. Scared of being disappointed, scared about becoming a new person, scared to know and feel that i deserve better. I think i have some real self-esteem issues steaming from the affair. I dont feel pretty anymore, i dont feel sexy anymore, sometimes i dont even comb my hair, put make-up on anymore, wear clothes that shows of my body. Every since, the affair i just been feeling like an Ugly Duck. I told my mother this and she just looked at me like i was crazy. She tells me everyday that i am beautiful. but the only thing is my mind is that if i am soo cute why did he go outside the relationship.

[Jennifer]

it is okay to be scared, that is what support is for. get yourself a good support system and you will be fine