getting married

[Maya]

I am getting married- supposed to be a happy occasion right- wrong! I really need to vent as I am having the wedding blues.

We are still working on the engagement and that is complicated enough.

I am of Muslim faith and he is catholic. He converted to my faith in order to marry me. He has not told his family yet. My parents don't like my fiance and never did but now they are accepting him. His family likes me but have mentioned to him that some of the relatives will have a problem with me because of my religion and nationality.

That btw is not what is complicated. My family wants to do things their way which is the brides parents pay for engagement and the groom pays for the wedding.

The request from my father was no alcohol at the engagement as he wants to make a good impression infront of my family since they will meet my fiance for the first time. Mind you my fiances family are big party goers and the only way they party is drink in hand. His family agreed to comprimise and do it my family's way but they are talking smack about my family among each other (and it has come to my attention)

My fiances family thinks my family are cheap and they don't want to spend anything because my dad said if my fiance wants alcohol at the wedding that is fine.

Also my fiance and I decided to have two weddings to keep the peace. We will have one in the Middle East and One in his country. Now here is the problem. My fiance does not really want to have a wedding in the Middle East- in fact he doesnt really see it as our wedding and doesn't want to have a big one here at all. He thinks by having one in Middle East and then travelling to hs country it takes precedence from his wedding and makes mine more important! He wants the big wedding to be in his country. I don't hve a problem but he keeps sayign negative things about my family like we can't have fun with them- they are so uptight- don't expect me to spend time with them afterwards. All this is taking a toll on me. Today I agreed fine we will only have a small function in the Middle East and a big wedding in his country. Mind you to me both weddings are important but he doesn't see that. I want my family to be happy too. But they seems to argue and fight with me whenever I say I want this or that.
Then the question came up about when is the wedding anniversary- so we figured if we sign the papers to one date that way we can have one.

Now my fiance is at the stage where he is saying he doesnt even want to do this anymore!

I am trying to maintain the peace and I had told my fiance I can't do this alone. I need his support as much as he needs mine and right now I feel like he just sees everything negatively. He keeps telling me if my family have a problem with this and that then what about after we are married and how its not going to be easy afterwards.

My friends say things will work out- my parents care too much about what other people think- his family just don't like my family and they never even met yet- he sees it all as a big mess......and I just want to keep the flipping PEACE!!!

So what do I do? My fiance already said to do the engagement my family way and then after the engagement we will tell my family that the wedding in Bahrain will be small and the real thing will be in Seychelles. My fiance doesnt want my family around because he doesn't think we will have fun. Yes they r a bit conservative but I would still want them around because they r my family- it doesnt matter how much they drive me crazy...

[Jennifer]

you and your finane need to figure out if you cn handle the cultural differences in yourr life. have you 2 talked about children and how you would raise them. my simple thought if you two cannot agree on a wedding than a marriage will be challening. have you had premaritial counseling? sounds as if you 2 need it.