follow up

[please help]

post topic :worn out and have no idea what to do

By: please help

5 443 Mon Sep 22, 2008 3:33 pm
Jennifer

Hello Jennifer,

I had posted a few discussions about my marriage late last year and would like to get your advice on the current situation. It has been about 60 days since I spoke to my wife. New years we were getting back together and she kept saying when I come back , I will be paying all the bills and she will go on a budget. I told her this is okay and the small amount of money she gets from social security needs to be kicked in to help with household expenses. She agreed. Before leaving back to her, I paid a portion of the rent as we agreed and her ss money would cover the rest. I was going to pay the utilities during the month. She told me the ss money was needed for other things and I needed to pay more rent. She broke the deal before it happened. She lives in overdraft and when ss comes in direct deposit, it simply pays od fees.

She then told me to stay where I was and do not come back. I pointed out we were trying to get a budget going. She did not talk to me through out jan and I called valentines day and she told her son to hang up on me.

My strategy has been ever since I left to get our pastor to speak with her. He keeps having light hearted discussions with her about her kids and getting (hopefully) them ready to do missionary work. He seems focused on the younger one as older one (1 just had a baby out of wedlock and is not a good candidiate for missionary work.

I thought I had a good dialogue with him and explained the whole situation. I specifically asked if he was willing to have a spiritual discussion with my wife to see what she thought of our marriage and if she wants to reconcile. He said no problem. My few discussions with him he brought up he needs to get to know her a bit more and keeps talking about the younger one hopefully going on a mission. I bring up we have a shattered marriage and if he plans on having this discussion with my wife. He says he will. My first discusioin with him about this was on Nov 15 2008. He has not done so yet and it's march 1st 2009. Could it be he simply does not care about the marriage? Maybe sees her as a waste of time but can get the younger son on a mission. That is all he cares about? It got to the point where I called the head pastor last week asking him to intervene. Our pastor finally called me and left a mesage. I have written him 2 letters and left numerous messages.

I am so fustrated because I had all my hope and faith he would be able to reeconcile my wife and I and he cannot even have a discussion with her about this.

What should I do? Should I just throw the towel in and get a divorce? It almost seems as if I need one last conversation even indirectly with my wife to see if she is willing to work it out or not. I am in the dark. Please let me know how you interpret this whole siuation. I do not know which way to proceed.



thanks

[Jennifer]

hey
as i had said the last time you posted, i do not see a change in your wife nor any effort on her part, if you read all of your previous posts, you will find that you are basically saying the same thing over and over again.

cannot advise you what to do, but listen to what you repeating say and do what you feel is best to do.