ex threatening suicide after almost successful attempt.

[kimberkitten]

I had broken up with my boyfriend and had started putting my life back together. I was beginning to move on and had started seeing someone here and there...

A little background refresher, my ex is my downstairs neighbor. He's transgender, and suffers from borderline personality disorder. He also drinks heavily and self medicates with various rx drugs. We had a tumultuous relationship, but I did and still love him dearly. It's just a relationship that will never work.

...Anyhow, when my ex realized that I had begun to move on and that there might be someone new in my life, he attempted suicide. I received a series of three text messages in the middle of the night (that did not wake me up) and then my phone rang (which did wake me up). I read the texts and realized what he was eluding to in his messages and ran downstairs and started banging on his door. When I couldn't get in, I called the police, EMS, and fire dept. Then I called his sister and let her know what was happening. The Fire department had to break down the door, and I had to tell EMS that he was transgendered before they went in, as I thought that was pertinent information.

When they got in to his apartment, they found him overdosed on his bed. His sister YELLED at me over the phone for telling EMS about him being trans, a neighbor I barely know YELLED at me for "causing" him to do this, and everyone around me seems to be blaming *me* for his decision to try to end his life. The neighbors I had that used to be friendly with me will no longer even look me in the face.

I do not own any part of that, and I can't understand how people can be so horrible, judgemental, and ignorant? Even his own mother--a Christian-- is blaming me for what he did.

He didn't call or text anone else. Just me. I went to him and got him help, but would anyone let me know if he was ok or not? No. They have been cruel and offensive to me because I could not continue in the relationship with him.

He is alive and home now, and I was continuing to see the person I was dating. I got texts from the ex saying he was going to "get it right this time" if he had to continue to watch me move forward with another person. So, out of consideration, I asked my "friend" to not come to my home anymore. He's so kind, he agreed without question, given the situation. Only now the situation is give an inch, take a mile. The ex now wants to be back in a relationship or he will kill himself. I've "agreed" to appease him, but it's not real. I can't be responsible for someone's life like this. It's not healthy! I have children. I don't want them seeing someone they were close to commit the ultimate sin, nor do I want to give up my life to someone who isn't right for me and my family or emotionally stable.

How can so many people be so screwed up? Even me? How did I agree to let him back into my life, and was I right or wrong to do that? I had no idea what to do in that situation. How do I deal with the people who choose to say horrid and judgemental things to me and continue to blame me for HIS CHOICE?? How do I deal with his family? How do I get my life back? I feel like this was the ultimate manipulation.

I do love him. I do care. I feel sorry for him. I want to help him get help; but I do not want my life tangled up in this kind of mess.

[Jennifer]

you are doing the right thing and him attempting suicide is his borderline personality comeing back. about how people can be so cruel i have no idea. just recently a good samaritian in nyc helped someone and he was stabbed. 25 people walked by him, 2 stopped and one took a picture of him, he died because nobody called the paramedics.

You do need to contineu with your life and if he uses this to help himself than all the better for it but honestly he needs to do it for himself and by himself and the best thing you can do is continue to date the person that you are dating.

[kimberkitten]

I fully intend to continue to date the man I have been; but I guess my question is how to get out of the situation with the ex? I'm afraid he'll just try to kill himself again. He keeps threatening it. I feel like I need to move. To just run away. At least then, if he does something drastic, then my kids and I won't be there to see it.

[Jennifer]

do some readings on borderline personalities, this is what they do, i would stay clear of him and under no circumstances should your kids have contact with him. im sure everyone else is fed up with him and his dramatics and you are the only one left that he can do this to, he is not your responsibility nor is wheter he gets help that is up to him,