curious about lack of sexual interest

[roswellphoenixfire]

My boyfriend and I love each other more than I can imagine loving another adult. We have been together for a bit more than a year and it's been a year filled with a lot of very stressful situations, loss of job, medical emergencies, catty friends and their gossip--probably more than anyone should have to deal with in the first year of a relationship. And we have broken up more than a few times in the heat of an disagreement; but we always get back together because both of us knows life is better with the other one in it. We are both in our thirties. Both hard working, family oriented people.

Last month we broke up again, and it lasted about two weeks. Long for our standards. We decided we are going to try couples counseling this time. But what is really bothering me is that in the month that we have been back together, he has not wanted to be intimate with me at all. I'm starting to get very offended; but I don't want to stir up anything ugly before we can get into the counselors office.

Can you offer any insight into what might be going on with this? We had always had a very active and loving relationship before. It's a complete upheaval.

[Jennifer]

they say that for men sex is physical and for women it is emotional but i don't always agree with that. Men that have a lot of stress in there lives as you sound as if you do sometimes back off. One thing you will learn in counseling is that it is good to talk about things but you need to make sure that you phrase things so the other doesn't get offended it. It is called using "I" statements. Such as "I feel like this when you pull away." Most times when you argue you tend to use "you" statements and blame the other person. Sounds as if you both can and need to work on your communication and learn how to talk about things so all this breaking up doesn't happen.