Unsure of what to do

[mommykimbee]

I have been married for about a year and a half. I met my husband when he was deployed in 03. Things were ok, or atleast I thought for the first 1.5years.

In 2005 my then boyfriend, started seeing this girl where he was stationed. He broke up with me and in a drunken fit I ended up ODing on some meds. The whole time I was in the hospital he led me to believe that we were getting back together, but as soon as I was out of the hospital he stopped talking to me pretty much. He came down to visit one weekend and we "slept together" afterward he told me you know i have a girlfriend right? We stopped talking and then a couple months later he calls me up out of the blue and starts telling me how much he missed me and such. I ended up taking him back, in July of 05 I moved back home with my grandma cause she broke her leg. He came down to visit me and he told me that the next week he wouldn't be coming down because he was going home to see his parents. I had a dream that he was cheating on me so I asked him about it and he laughed it off. We a couple days later I needed to get ahold of him but I couldn't reach him so I called up where he worked just to find out that he had taken the week off work to go to Fl..

When he got back he moved me in with him and I got pregnant.. Let me put in that off and on the whole time we had problems with him and pornography.

Things seemed ok other then the porn up until I got pregnant with our son in 2008.. He started working night shift at a hospital.. We got married in August, 3 weeks later I find out that he had been having an online relationship with this girl that lived near his hometown since June. He had told her that he was single with no children. He said he would stop talking to her and everything. So then I find out he's been living a complete and total different online life since he started his job at the hospital. And when he was claiming to be stopping for a nap on the ride home from work (he worked over a hour away) that he was really stopping to watch porn. And he had still been emailing the girl from before.

He stopped going online until we moved in with my sister and her husband in 09 and then once we moved out I found out (about a month ago) that he had been doing the online thing agan, and was friends with the same chick on fb! Things had been fine until he had decided to use his phone to look up porn in his parents bathroom when we were visiting for christmas..

I am having a hard time dealing with everything that has happened since june 08. (I have moved past the other things) And then to make it worse I find out that when he proposed to me, he proposed with his MP ring he had just gotten back from his ex a couple days earlier..

I am sorry this is so long, I just cant talk to anyone else about it.. They all have a bias opinion because they are either my family or friends or his.. Thank you in advance

[Jennifer]

So what is the issue now, is he cheating? what would you like to change and is he open to working on your relatonship?

[mommykimbee]

I don't think he is cheating on me currently. I just need to be able to move past everything, the greif the anger etc.

He says he is willing to work on our relationship, he said that he knows if he keeps doing what he has been that he will lose me and the kids. He also said that he thinks he has a problem, possibly an addiction.

[Jennifer]

soundslike you and your husband both need individual counseling to work on your separate issues. for you trust anger and moving forward him his addiction.