Should I wait on him or just move on

[sreginabriggs]

I have been seeing this guy about a year ( friends 4 years) ...if that's what you want to call it.
I'm really kind of upset right now because I'm ready to be in relationship with him and he told me that he likes me but he doesn't want to be in an exclusive relationship. So we hung out over the weekend with other friends and it was really nice. I have pulled back some from him to make an impression on him that I'm worth having in his life as a partner. We talk all day everyday...and we're intimate...but have not been recently due to me putting some distance in....anyway I was online and I happened to see that he had a membership on another popular message board and I looked at his friends and saw one young lady in particular that was very attractive that he messaged recently. That really upset me because it reminded me that we aren't exclusive. I was so upset I had to lay down. I didn't feel like doing my work or anything. So... I laid down for awhile, kinda wanted to cry & couldn't and decided to stop moping and do my homework. But the thing is, I really do like him and I want to be in a relationship with him. I'm not going to babysit him until he decides who he really wants to be with when he grows up especially if it's not me. I like to compete but not when the odds are not in my favor I can't take not being the chosen one again...I don't want to be a repeat offender in this relationship with him and I don't want to play games to win him over ..I do want to be in his life but at what cost...Huuuuh why are my relationships so unhealthy?

[Jennifer]

Hey
Sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders and know yourself well. You are right that you should not have to complete with him and whatever his issue is, doesn't sound like it is with you.

You need to distance yourself for your own sake and find someone that appreciates you for all that you are. He will still be the same person that cannot decide after you have moved on.

[sreginabriggs]

well I got bad news from my doctor today....and ultimately this news has changed my life and will affect the guy that I'm seeing now ( though we are not in a relationship) or the last gentlemen I was seeing before him that broke my heart... i didn't want to tell him the news.... I just wanted to hide and now i have because I didn't want to be a liar and it really feels like my life is so over....I feel like I'm being overly dramatic but it really does seem over because I feel so alone because I can't talk to anybody else and I kinda feel like I have lost him and I wont have the chance to meet anybody else...i know I'm just feeling sorry for myself but this whole ordeal but...its one thing to go bed to early because you're sad bcuz the guy you like happens to like other women...but to go to bed thinking that same guy make not like you anymore makes me want to sleep a lot longer.....or at least act like i am

[Jennifer]

You didn't mention the news. You should want to be with someone that is there for you when you get bad news, not someone who is only there when it is easy for them to be there. Tragic events sometimes have a way of making things make sense.

[sreginabriggs]

I shared the news and we talked and sat on the phone until it was just really awkward..I was so just out of it. I cut my ringer off and did homework but I really felt like I was going to have a panic attack thinking of facing the next day...just overwhelming...I contemplated calling in but thought better of it this morning I moved on. I did get a good cry yesterday. This morning he called to check on me and throughout the day...I didn't think I could make it through today without crying but I managed to do okay and feel better as the day progresses. I'm just going to take one day at a time and try to stay sane..with each day i know it will get better...cause it can't get any worse than this

[Jennifer]

great!!