Ready To Give Up

x_macii · Joined: 23 Dec 2008 Posts: 19 Location: Crestview, FL

Me and my boyfriend have been together over a year, and I thought we was a stong couple. But recently he's been giving me reasons to doubt that. I had to move away, and he said it'd be best to just stay together..

He's been yelling at me recently, for no reason. I love him to death, and I wanna be with him but its just so hard. Last night he wanted to watch the game, so I said okay and he said he'd put me on three way with his friend, well his friend got mad and hung up because I was on the other line. My boyfriend yelled at me and said it was my fault. Yelled that I ruined the game for him, that I ruined the entire day. Complaining his life was so miserable, and it felt like it was my fault. I didn't even do anything wrong. He hung up on me 5+ times so when he called back [ like 6 or 7 times ] I didn't answer, but I felt bad so I called back and he just hung up on me. Saying "suicide sure feels great right now" saying that he knows how to do it right, not just cut his wrist.. Ive had to deal with so much deaths the past year I didn't need to hear that so I didn't answer when he called back 3 more times.

Then I finally called him back, and he just yelled at me some more. He threatened to end our relationship if we're on the phone past 8 again. And if I cry one more time, or if we have one more fight. I told him that I was only human and couldn't help it when I cried or when we fought. He hung up, again.. Called back like 20 minutes later, and said I need pshycological help. Calling me crazy several times before hanging up.. Im ready to end this relationship, but at the same time it just makes me want to fight even more. I love him with all my heart.. But, I dont know.

Help?

Oh, I forgot to mention this is a long distance relationship.

Jennifer · Site Admin Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 2356

sounds like there is something going on with him and he doesn't know how to tell you so he is acting this way.

threatning suicide is not going to get him or you anything except heartache.

when will you two see each other again? how long long distance.

x_macii · Joined: 23 Dec 2008 Posts: 19 Location: Crestview, FL

about 500 miles.
and im leaving this weekend to go see him.
but i really dont want to go if all we're going to do is fight.

Jennifer · Site Admin Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 2356

see how it is over the weekend, maybe you two just need to spend time together. long distance is hard.

x_macii · Joined: 23 Dec 2008 Posts: 19 Location: Crestview, FL

yeah, but i cant go a whole week like this. im stressed out enough. isnt there anything i could do?

Jennifer · Site Admin Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 2356

what would you like to do?

x_macii · Joined: 23 Dec 2008 Posts: 19 Location: Crestview, FL

anything. i would do anything to make things normal again. its driving me crazy.

Jennifer · Site Admin Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 2356

What are your coping skills? The farther you stay from him the better, you need to work on yourself right now and cannot worry about how someone else is treating you. Focus on you and the rest will come later.

x_macii · Joined: 23 Dec 2008 Posts: 19 Location: Crestview, FL

i cant get better knowing that the one person i love, and trusted, thinks that of me. and its driving me crazy to not talk to him.

Jennifer · Site Admin Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 2356

getting healthy is a full time effort and it seems like he wants you to get healthy so you are going to shift your focus from him to yourself and your own needs for now.

not easy but necessary when your ready he will either be there or not but you will be a healthy person for your future.

x_macii · Joined: 23 Dec 2008 Posts: 19 Location: Crestview, FL

so basically, your saying that i need to get better.. and if he loves me then he'll be waiting until im better?

Jennifer · Site Admin Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 2356

yep, but when you get better you migt not want him. there was something you liked about him when you were down so when your healthy things might be different.

x_macii · Joined: 23 Dec 2008 Posts: 19 Location: Crestview, FL

no, i believe ill still want him. ive been with him over a year.. i havent been down that long.

Jennifer · Site Admin Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 2356

k, what i meant is that you need to work on yourself for you not to "prove" anything to him or anyone else, that is the only way it really works is if you do it for yourself

x_macii · Joined: 23 Dec 2008 Posts: 19 Location: Crestview, FL

i went two days without talking to him and since christmas was yesterday i decided to call him and he didnt answer so when he called me back i was busy and told him that.. well i called him back later 3 times. and when he called back he said he was busy and that his friend was more fun to talk to.. so i really think i shouldnt even waste my time. i called back because one of his friends said something to me that was personal and was suppose to be kept between me and him. but wasnt so i wanted to talk about it.. and he begs me to talk to him about our problems instead of counselors.. but when i try too he blows me offf. he said hes more important than "stupid counselors" and that "they dont know anything about you" ...im really confused..