Man Abuser

RissaChick · Joined: 25 Feb 2009 Posts: 2 Location: Florida

I have developed this habit of hurting the one person who truely loves me. Not all the time and the scenario has to be just so but still. I need help. I know I do. Hopefully this can. I am a 24 yr old college student engaged to a 27 yr old who has 3 beautiful kids from a previous relationship. We are amazing together is every aspect until it comes down to going out in public together when alcohol is involved. We dont know how to act, you would never guess that we are as in love as we are because we resort to making fun of each other and eventually I get mad and hit him. This last time I punched him right in the face hard. I dont know why i did it. I immediately regret it. My sober self would never hurt a fly, where did this come from. I have been abused myself in past relationships why would I do this. I have also scratched his neck so bad that he has scars. I am searching for an answer. We have tried not going out, going out but not drinking, and the only thing we have found that works is not going out but our family and friends think something is wrong with us. I dont want to lose my fiance. I love him more than anything. I am so scared that he will leave me. My mom swears that he hits me but this is not the case. She wants him to be the bad guys. I am getting married in 5 months. I am not sure how to fix this but any help would be so very welcome. Crying or Very sad

Jennifer · Site Admin Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 2356

You say that it happens when drinking is involved but when you don't drink does it still happen. What is different about you two when you go out and when you are at home? Is it the age difference? Is it just you that gets different when you go out or the both of you.

RissaChick · Joined: 25 Feb 2009 Posts: 2 Location: Florida

Ive only ever tried to hurt him while we were both drinking.. even when we dont drink we start making fun of each other, this is when we are out with friends.. its only ever around people. When we are alone we are very loving people. I dont think its the age difference. The big difference between the two of is we start just picking on each other. I dont know who starts it or why because we dont do it when were alone.

Jennifer · Site Admin Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 2356

if it is only around other people then one or both of you are trying to show off around the other people. come up with a signal a code word so you can become aware when you do this, when you do. you can both stop, regroup or figure out where it is coming from