Love Question

[philly1111]

Is it possible to love a person who is already in a relationship? Hate to be a "home wrecker", but don't want to be hurt myself!!

[Jennifer]

of course it is possible. love doesn't care if someone is in a relationship, it is a feeling.

[philly1111]

That's what I was thinking. But I question weather or not to continue the relationship as is, end it the relationship or give the other person some space to figure out if they want me or the person they are with now that they claim they don't love. decisions, decisions...... Any thoughts?

[Jennifer]

what kind of relationship are you in with this person? How do you feel that she is in another relationship? People differ on this and some feel like it is cheating and others do not. I mean for the person that is not in a relationship. Do you want her to leave her current relationship for you? Sometimes that does not work because half the fun is the thrill of the chase.

[philly1111]

Well our relationship has been going on for over a year. We see each other 2 or 3 times a week, talk daily, been on quite a few trips together. The sex is great!! I understand why this person stays in the other relationship. Financial reason and kids. It is hard at times, as I would like more of her time. But I knew what I was getting into from the get go. Just never meant to fall in love. Oh, what a tangle web we weave!! I think I do like the thrill!

How do I change my user name?

[Jennifer]

Does she know how you feel? That your feelings change. Affairs are not meant to be long term if the person intends to stay in their relationship. Just meant to be fun and the point is to have great sex! Sounds like you are taking this relationship seriously and that is hard to do with affairs. You need to either back off and have fun or tell her how you feel and work with it.

You can go into your user acount to change your username or I can do it for you? What do you want it to be?

[philly1111]

Think i m leaning towards the "back off and have fun" route! Seems like a more enjoyable path to travel!

Can u change my user name to philly1111? Thanks

[Jennifer]

Okay, your name has been changed to philly1111. Are you going to fall out of love? How are you going to back off?

[philly1111]

I am going to just relax and take it as it comes. If we can hang out, great! If we can't, instead of getting upset or anxious about it, I am just going to go with the flow. I have a great group of friends that are very supportive. So I will lean on them a bit to help me through. Fall out of love? Not sure if that can happen. I just need to be more aware of and in control of my feelings. ANy other thoughts?

[Jennifer]

sounds like a good plan. how about adding to it that you could be open to finding someone that you can love and be with. Just open to the idea, not go out and actively look.

[philly1111]

I think that being open to that idea is a smart move. DO I tell the person I am seeing that I am open to that idea , or should I just keep that to myself?

[Jennifer]

the only reason you would tell her is if you wanted to make her jealous. there is no way you can be in a commited relationhip. she has no intentions to leave her life so eventually it will end. if you keep your mind/heart open then maybe you can find a relationship that will last.

[philly1111]

Will keep my mind/heart open to a new relationship that will last. And while I look, I will continue to have some fun with my involved friend. I will not tell her, I wouldn't want to make her jealous! Seems mean!!

[Jennifer]

Sounds good!

[educatedleader]

I do not see it as a home wrecker, I see it as you knowing confidently what you want and going for the gusto. How does the other person feel about you? Before you say you do not want to be a home wrecker how are you viewed, loved, in love with, or just as a friend? Be true to yourself first.


Educatedleader