Long-Distance

Dino333 · Joined: 07 Jul 2008 Posts: 8 Location: Texas

Im a seventeen year old girl, and ive been in a two year relationship with another girl I am extremely in love with. But for the most part we dont get to see eachother much and I miss her more than I can say. Which is especially hard since we are both so attached to eachother. But I think I may be too attached. Ive been depressed lately because I so wish to be around her. Sometimes I think about her leaving me or a similar scenario, and I feel like if something like that happened I would seriously contemplate suicide. I know most people would think that I feel this way because im young and im emotionally unstable or not ready for a serious relationship etc.. But I don't think thats the case.. I really don't know what to do im tired of feeling so helpless and empty. And it seems like the only one thats able to fill me with happyness is her.

Jennifer · Site Admin Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 2356

Hey
You are right in questioning how you feel about your relationship. What you are feeling is not healthy and it is called "codependent". When you are in a healthy relationship, both partners at as individuals and then blend as a couple. Does she know how you feel about this? Do you have any other friends besides your girlfriend? This has more to do with you and how you feel about yourself than how you feel about your girlfriend. You need to remember who you are before you got into the relationship.

Dino333 · Joined: 07 Jul 2008 Posts: 8 Location: Texas

Yeah, I have friends other than my girlfriend. When im out with them I feel better for that period of time. But when im alone I just feel sad all over again. I always had a sense of who I was and never depended on anyone before the relationship. But ever since we got extremely close it seems like ive lost that, maybe ive let myself become too attached? I know she knows how attached I am to her but not exactly how im feeling. I understand what your saying and I agree, but I don't understand how to fix it.

Jennifer · Site Admin Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 2356

Well, the first step to fix it is to realize that this is about you and not about your relationship. You seem to be feeling down and you are grasping at what you can. Tell me more about feeling "alone" when you are by yourself.

Dino333 · Joined: 07 Jul 2008 Posts: 8 Location: Texas

I realize its about me and I am trying to hold on to what I can, but its hard not to. Well, when im alone I feel like I really have no one but my girlfriend, and I dont know why. I have very close friends and they can come and tell me anything, but I have a problem with doing that with them. It makes me uncomfortable to tell my friends anything too personal, no matter how close we are. And im not close to my mom or step-dad. So I try to keep myself busy on my alone time but I still feel empty.

Jennifer · Site Admin Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 2356

Who do you talk too that you feel comfortable with? Sounds like there might be some depression involved here.

Dino333 · Joined: 07 Jul 2008 Posts: 8 Location: Texas

Well, usually I talk to my girlfriend about it. And I try to tell my best friend some of this but its just really hard for me. Ive been thinking maybe im a bit depressed but I may be in a little denial about it.

Jennifer · Site Admin Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 2356

Sounds like it, how long has it been going on, the depression. Lets not make this a relationship thing so you can enjoy being with your girlfriend and lets figure out how you can enjoy being you again. Take this assessment http://www.completecounselingsolutions.com/assessments/7/Are+you+Clinically+Depressed%3F to see if you are clinically depressed.

Dino333 · Joined: 07 Jul 2008 Posts: 8 Location: Texas

Okay, I took the depression test. Well ive felt like this before when I was in middle school, but it went away eventually. I think it started again a few months ago, but I never thought anything serious of it. Yeah, id like to be myself again. The thing I most enjoy lately is my girlfriend.

Jennifer · Site Admin Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 2356

Do you remember how it went away in middle school? How did you do on the test, you didn't send the test results to us.

Dino333 · Joined: 07 Jul 2008 Posts: 8 Location: Texas

I just took it again, maybe im doing something wrong? When I click submit it just refreshes. Well im not sure how it went away, but it might have to do with me going through self realization about my sexual orientation. I think it took a load off my back to realize who i am.

Jennifer · Site Admin Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 2356

explain the self orientation. Hate to break it too you, but you are at the age when you are struggling to find out who you are. It is a natural part of growing up (some people do not ever find out). It is a good thing that you are going through this. The best person to know is yourself. What are you confused about?

Dino333 · Joined: 07 Jul 2008 Posts: 8 Location: Texas

Well, I meant that was the time when I found out I was gay. Finding that out made me feel better. Im not sure why or what im feeling lately.

Jennifer · Site Admin Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 2356

K, got it, maybe your body is going through another life change. Every 7 years we go through changes and it happens without warning. Start writing down what you are feeling and we can try to figure it out.

Dino333 · Joined: 07 Jul 2008 Posts: 8 Location: Texas

Okay, thank you for listening. I will try that for sure.