Keys

[frustrated husband]

So, I was letting the dog out and my wife had a problem with how I was doing it. She had told me to loop a leash through the retractable leash. I saw a retractable leash on the ground, so I figured that was the one. Pretty reasonable, right. So then she starts getting loud at me and saying that wasn't the one she meant and she keeps going on for several minutes ranting about it. I eventually get so frustrated with the way she's talking to me that I tell her to shut up. Yes, not exactly the best decision, but when someone continues ranting for as long as she does, the temptation usually gets the better of me. I sat down and continued on with what I was doing. She comes at me and starts telling me to "get the fuck out of [her] house" as she usually does when we argue. Now at this point I still continue with what I'm doing. She starts getting my jacket and putting it by the door so I can leave. I continue to ignore this. Eventually she starts trying to yank my book I'm studying out of straight out of my hand. I STILL restrain myself through several minutes of this. Eventually I get up and say that "I'm sick of this" as I pass. Now, at this point our faces got pretty close to each other (I really had no choice, she had me cornered and the only way to get past was to be that close) and as I pass was when "this" came out of my mouth. She starts saying that I "spit" in her face and starts getting even louder. Then she gets in my face and does the same to me, the difference being that she said "how would you like it if I did this to you!" obviously implying that her "spit" was intentional, where mine was an unfortunate accident of distance. I am finally fed up at this point and spit right back in her face (once again, I should not have done this, but hindsight is 20/20, plus its hard to resist when someone purposely spits in your face). She then spits at me again, I retaliate again, and then she slaps me across the face. It took absolutely all the willpower I could muster not to retaliate again. At this point I start walking towards the door to leave and she throws the keys at me as hard as she could and hits me square in the spine. What the hell should I do?????????

[Jennifer]

what should you do? leave seems to be a good option based on the heat of the argument and the fact that you two have escalated to this point. Doubt she was upset about the leash, you two either need to be in counseling to work on these issues as a couple or one of you needs to leave for your saftey. do you have children? can you leave? do you want to leave?

[frustrated husband]

I do want to leave, but every time I do she threatens to call my school to get me kicked out of med school or call the police. Obviously I feel that she is as much at fault as I am, but who's story is most likely to be believed? So, as a result I feel trapped and I end up staying and just getting depressed. She feels like I need therapy, but always get upset when I suggest that she also needs it.

[Jennifer]

you should get therapy to start out with and then she can always join. this is not about who is right, this is about getting you to a healthy place.

[frustrated husband]

I know that, on both counts. I would just like her to realize that she is not as innocent in this as she tries to make herself out to be. I will be doing therapy.

[Jennifer]

somebody has to start, once you do then she will either come around or you can figure out how to leave but your situation sounds toxic and you need some support on how to figure out how to deal with it.