Jealousy

beccabee1 · Joined: 05 Jul 2008 Posts: 3

Hi.. i hope this makes sense because its kind of hard to explain for me.

Ive always been abit of a jealous person and its never affected me too much but lately its got worse. My partner (of 4years) has a new friend who is a girl. They talk alot on messenger and I dont know whether they text or not as i cannot bring myself to look at his phone. I have become very jealous of their relationship even though i cannot be sure they are anything more than friends. I made a comment about her to him and he said i shouldnt say bad things about his friends and said she was very "down to earth" and he defended her. He didnt understand my view and it made it worse for me.

I know that im not a confident person and I struggle to meet new people so i dont feel i have anyone i can talk to really. I often dislike myself and think he must not like me anymore.
Please help. I dont know what to think

Jennifer · Site Admin Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 2356

You made perfect sense and you even answered your own question. The feelings associate with being jealousy are the same ones that makes it hard to feel good about your self. They boil down to self-esteem. He is not doing anything wrong right now that you know of, but that does not mean that you feel good about it. It is always a struggle between figuring out what is in your mind and what is real in a relationship. Sounds like you need to work on your self and build confidence in you and then you will never need to worry about your partner leaving you. For now, leave them out of it and just work on yourself.

beccabee1 · Joined: 05 Jul 2008 Posts: 3

I do know its because of how I feel about myself. I just dont know how to stop thinking about it. I dont want to drive him about but it is driving me crazy. I think about it all the time and nothing else and I dont know how to stop. Its made me really moody and I just cry about it most of the time when im on my own. how do i stop thinking about it

Jennifer · Site Admin Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 2356

You have to start working on the other things, like making friends feeling good about yourself because if you do not then you will just find some thing else to get upset about evenutally. This is not about your parnter, this is about you and how you feel about yourself. Time to self refect and try to come up with ideas that you can do to help yourself. Your right, sitting around thinking is going to get you upset. Right goals for yourself, do affirmations, write poetry even if that is what you want to do. Find what you enjoy doing and go with it.

beccabee1 · Joined: 05 Jul 2008 Posts: 3

Thanks. Its hard because i dont really think I am good at anything so i dont know what it is i will do. I will try

thanks Smile

Jennifer · Site Admin Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 2356

Everybody is good at something, keep trying and you will find yours. All you have to do is believe in yourself now and have fun with your partner. Keep your options open and enjoy yourself!!!