Is It Over?

[SecretSpirit]

My husband and I are about to embark on out tenth anniversary and I don't know if I want to last another ten with him. I don't have a problem of insecurity with him as he does with himself and everything and everyone around him. It can be a bit overwelheming at times. The phyiscal abuse stopped well over 6 years ago (he got tired of going to the hospital) but the verbal abuse has not. I know abuse is abuse. But, when it's all said and done I love my husband. But I'm tired of the crap I have to endure just to stay with him and show him that the world is not all black and white as he sees it. Now don't get me wrong I've done my share of wrong doing in this relationship and I admit I have been selfish and didn't care one way or another about him or his feelings it was all about what I wanted, but I have learned from my mistakes but he does not know how to fight fairly. He doesn't listen, thinks he's always right, closed minded and stubburan, plus he's selfish and self centered and don't want or have a job. And yet I love this man. We have 3 boys and they need the disipline from him to become men but it's hard seeing him not being one trying to teach the boys to be one. It's confusing and heart dretching all at the same time. I've grown a lot and learned a lot from him but he seems to think I have nothing to offer him because I'm eight years younger and hasn't had that much experience with the world but I'm not green or ignorate to the world around me. He suffers from server anxiety and depression. All I want is peace and someone to love and respect equally as they love and respect me and fight fairly. I've tired talking to him but all he does is point the blame and pushes off what I'm trying to expalin and says he does it because I do this or that. He never admits to wrong doing or own up to responsibliy it's always someone elses fault,I want to stay but I'm tired .
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BE@PEACE

[Jennifer]

Hey
I don't blame you for being fed up and I am sure that you have tried getting him help over the years?? The thing is that he has to want to get help and sometimes just forcing the issue "I will leave if things don't change" works, actually that is how most people get help. Doesn't sound like this is a relationship issue, but a him issue and he has to be willing to work on it.