I want his attention

Calla · Joined: 11 Jul 2008 Posts: 3

Hello, Jennifer!
I've a problem and I hope You can suggest something or just say how you see that. I've a male friend (actually we communicated much more in high school, now we meet rarely) and I'm in love with him. The irony is that he was in love with me when we're in high school, but I wanted to be just friends (it's about two years ago). Now I'm desperate. I want to be with him. I think that I'd like to be just friends with him (to call him, go out with him etc) But maybe more than friends..I don't know. I know that I miss him. I sometimes contact him, but he never does. But he'll be willing to speak or visit me if I took the initiative. I don't know whether I miss him or the feeling he arouses in me while communicating with him. Maybe I just need someone. I don't have many other male friends. Or it's about only and only him. He's caring and attentive and a good listener. Maybe I just need somebody caring about me, somebody's attention. I think about him all the time. Maybe it's because he's unattainable. I've tried to get over him for about two years. Every time I met him it's getting worse. I know that I should stop meeting him, but it's my main joy in life. I want it so much. I'm always waiting for the next time I see him. Maybe if he was very eager and contacted me a lot, I wouldn't miss him so badly. I'm very unhappy and want him very much. What should I do to make him contact me (or maybe it's impossible).

Waiting for Your opinion.
Thank You,
Calla (20)

Calla · Joined: 11 Jul 2008 Posts: 3

Why don't you reply to my letter?

Jennifer · Site Admin Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 2356

I did not see your letter and I really am sorry. How do you know that you are in love with this guy? How do you know he is not in love with your or will not be in love with you in the future? Since you sent this post, how many times have you seen him and what happens when you do see him? Are you too romantic when you are together. Do you live in the same city? Are you abel to just be friends with him.

That is all the questions for now. Lets start there. Thank-you for nudging me about your post.

Calla · Joined: 11 Jul 2008 Posts: 3

Hi!
It’s not a problem at all:)
I’ve seen him once after this letter. We’re at the same party. We talked a little and then he started to speak with others. I know that I’m in love with him, because I’ve already had this feeling for about 3 years. I really want to see him, I feel very special when I’m with him and when I’m not, I miss him. He was in love with me a few years ago, but not any more. He doesn’t behave accordingly and he has a girlfriend. So, I don’t want him to be my boyfriend. It’s impossible because of his other relationship. But I’d like to be just his friend. He has many female friends and his girlfriend doesn’t see a problem there. She isn’t jealous at all. So it’d be possible to be friends with him. But it seems to me that he isn’t interested enough.
No, we’re not romantic when we’re together. We’re like friends. Yes, we live in the same city. And I’m able to be friends with him. That is what I want. Just to go out with him for coffee and chating, some phone calls, birthday parties etc. It may seem weird, but he does go out with his female friends. So, I’d like to be one of them.

Jennifer · Site Admin Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 2356

Are you sure you want to be friends with him? Sounds more like you want to be close to him and will accept friendship. I know this is not what you want to hear, but the best thing for now would be to break free of him and try to put him in the back of your mind.