I am in love with an alcoholic

[KelR]

I have been seeing the same person for two years and known him my entire life pretty much, and for all of the two years he has had a drinking problem that I was way too blind to see for a while and I have tried leaving several times. I have been let down so many times from having to attend family events alone, and having to lie about where he was, to being sick and him promising to come take care of me and him never showing up and I drive to his house to find him passed out in his truck and me unable to wake him. If he ever makes plans for us it almost always envolves drinking. I have actually for real left two to three times but I always take him back because he always convinces me that he will change then after a few months he's right back to the same things. I don't know if I should give up on him and walk away, or if I should stay and attempt to help him with his problem, he's once admitted to me that he has a problem but he has never done it again. What do I do

[Jennifer]

hey
your last statement is the one you need to focus on. It is his problem and he needs to recognize that he has a problem and work on it. It is not a relationship problem, it is a personal problem. Would you stay with him if he cheated on you? Why do you keep on taking him back?

[dream7girl]

Dear KelR,

You need to follow your heart. Is there hope that he may change? Is he a good person outside of the drinking: Alcohol is a disease. Try getting some help and advice from an alanon meeting. We can be here for moral support, but are not experts on the alcohol abuse. Being involved with an alcoholic takes an emotional toll on you. Take care of yourself and be open and honest with your boyfriend. Tell him you love him, but he needs to get help. The sad thing about alcoholism is you can't make him want to change. he has to want to.