Does my husband love me still?

persephone81 · Joined: 21 Dec 2008 Posts: 4

About a week ago, my husband and I had a huge argument where he told me that he no longer trusts me. I have never been unfaithful to my husband nor would I ever, if I wanted to be intimate with someone else I never would have married him. He feels that he cannot trust me because of a conversation I had with a girlfriend. He feels that he can no longer talk to me because I had asked her a question in regards to a woman my husband works with that my girlfriend does not like.
After the initial argument, a couple days later, my husband is acting like nothing happened and is trying to be all lovey dovey. I'm sorry but I don't work that way. So tonight I told him that I was still upset by his comments and that it truly hurts that he feels he cannot trust me. To make a long story short, I got so upset that I left and went to my mothers (I have no other place to go) where I was reprimanded like a child for needing space from my husband. At this time I sent a text message asking my husband if I could come back to his home (the mortgage is in his name) until I could figure out another arrangement. He refuses to talk to me and I don't know if I need a divorce attorney. Mind you he had mentioned that he wasn't sure why he married me in the first place... Even through all the bull I love this man. He has never laid a hand on me nor would he, he has provided for me, and he stood by my side through some of the most difficult things I've ever had to face... but I'm not sure if he's thrown in the towel on us or not. I've suggested marital counseling in the past and he always tosses the suggestion to the side like I'm joking. I don't know what to do... any advice would be helpful!

Jennifer · Site Admin Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 2356

Hey
Seems like there is a lot of this story that is missing and only the end result is mentioned. I doubt as well as you that your marriage is over because of one conversation. What else has happend that has made you get to this point.

persephone81 · Joined: 21 Dec 2008 Posts: 4

Well lets see where do I begin... about a month ago, my husband and I had a conversation about a girl I went to college with. My husband works with a woman that knows her and we were talking about how this woman thought my friend was having an affair. About 2 weeks later, I had dinner with my friend and asked her how she knew the woman my husband worked with. That was the end of the conversation. I guess my friend went back and said some pretty nasty things about the woman my husband works with. From this, my husband thought that I had confided in my friend the entire conversation he and I had. Even though I told him exactly what I said, he still didn't believe me. This is when he told me that he couldn't trust me anylonger.
A few nights back when we bought our Christmas tree is when he told me that he didn't trust me... I asked him what was bothering him and he proceeded to tell me that he couldn't talk to me because he didn't trust me. The very next day, he was acting like nothing had been said. I'm sorry I don't forget that easily. I was still upset and I told him I was still upset. This turned into the huge argument that I described in my first post.
Since then, I have asked him if he would go to counseling with me and he told me no, but he also said that he didn't want me to move out. I love this man with all of my heart, and I have tried to talk to him, but I just don't know where we stand within our relationship. He still will not talk to me though... I don't want to give up on our marriage, but I don't think that I can stay in a relationship where I'm not trusted by my spouse.

Jennifer · Site Admin Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 2356

Maybe he needs some space in order to tell you how he is feeling or he does not know how he is feeling and trying to figure it out. Men are like that sometimes where they are feeling something and not even know it. If you want to be with him, give him some space, enjoy the holidays and see how things go.

Has he had trouble in the past communicating with you?

famcous · Joined: 31 Dec 2008 Posts: 2

Did you asked why he is not willing to come for marital counseling?

Jennifer · Site Admin Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 2356

Nope, but sometime with counseling the motivated person needs to start. Relationships can be worked on with just one person, i actually did my dissertation on that exact topic. When the unmotivated person sees changes or even just out of curiousity they want to go to therapy with you.