Depleated Sex Communication

SecretSpirit · Joined: 15 Nov 2008 Posts: 2 Location: Houston

I'm 31 and a little unexperienced compared to my husband. We have been married for 10 years. He has claimed to have seen it and done it all. I've only had 4 partners in my life time. He claims to have had more than he could handle. (What man doesn't?) I knew of him in high school and he got around alot. Even after. But he falls short in my bedroom. He has the stima but no tricks or surprises. I've tried but he just stops me to do the samd thing. I don't know what his old partners was used to but it's not working for me. I want to spice up our sex life, but am unsure how. There is no four-play just stick and move. I don't have orgasms unless I'm in the shower (hint,hint). In my opinion he doesn't know much of just not doing much. He is 39 well blessed and seasoned. But when it comes to me I get nothing just the same old stuff. I've asked at least a million times what can I do to help but he's happy with the sex life we have. I'm bored. How do I get him to participate more without messing with his ego.
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BE@PEACE

Jennifer · Site Admin Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 2356

Well the fact that he had to boast to you about previous sexual partners tells you that he does not have much experience knowing how to be creative. You can firstly figure out what it is that will spruce up your sex life and introduce these things through planning a romantic night, or the holidays are coming up and you two can buy him some sex toys and enjoy.

It might be that he is not interested in experimenting and then you have to figure out if you are okay with the same thing or you might want to start exploring yourself more and who you are sexually.

jojo · Posted: Tue Dec 23, 2008 9:39 pm Post subject:

sounds to me like he may have had a lot of women but used them for his own pleasure and learned or cared nothing about them. I would ask him what he knows about female orgasms and if other partners of his were able to have one with him. I would tell him that a good sexual partner needs to make sure the other is satisfied too. That you believe sex is for the pleasure of two people not just one. Ask him if he knows where to touch you to help you achieve orgasm and put his hand there. Its ok to tell him he has been unable to give you time for having orgasms and you haven't had any because he is inside too soon. Ask if could he try to help you before he penetrates. Tell him you are capable of feeling like he does after he is done and women need about 15 minutes to achieve it but men only need 5 min or less. Tell him if it would be important to him you and the sucess of your relationship if you felt more satisfied sexually. What he does not know is broken he cannot fix. It is my experience that many men(real men) enjoy giving women orgasms and feel more macho that they did that to you. Women are mistaken if they think they are taking away masculinity by keeping quiet. Men are very insecure about sex and brag to hide it. If you say he has not satisfied you he will do it just to prove to you both that he is capable. Things will improve if you are truthful, tell him in an honest caring way not a demeaning way. He will respect the truth and try harder trust me.