43 divorced for 9 yrs, relationship dilemmas

[raleighroni]

I got married at 25, didn't really understand much about what is important in a marriage. Was married for 10 yrs, walked away from it, because it was lacking passion and intimacy and now I seem to to have a standard that is unmeetable for men coming into my life now.

I've been alone for about 7 years. Date frequently, looking for a man who encompasses what I want, intelligence, gets my sense of humor, sense of fun, loves passion and intimacy ect. I haven't found anyone in that boat who is also looking for a long term loving relationship.

I'm starting to think that either my standards are too high, or I'm dismissing opportunities that might fulfill some needs, just not all of them. I think I'm afraid of making a bad decision again.

My mind knows that no one person can fulfill all of your needs. I seem to be isolating socially, depending on a love relationship to fulfill my needs.

I have a first date tonight with a man, who seems to be a good, honest, mature...but is a little simple and not very educated.

I don't want to be alone forever, nor do I want to have a man in my life just to have one.

How can I sort out what is real, what is silly, and what I really need in my life.

[Jennifer]

hey

I do not believe in settling and it sounds as if you settled already once in your life and it ended up in divorce. lots of people settle for the reason you stated that they don't want to be alone and end up either in miserable relationships and/or divorce.

I would concentrate on fulfilling who you are and learning how to be content with yourself by doing what you want and forming relationships with others. once that happens the right man will come along without any effort.