married transgender

[Lynn75]

I am married and I want to get the surgery to become a woman, and I would like to talk about all facets of it.
_________________
Just wanting to be me.

[Jennifer]

Okay, start talking

[Lynn75]

[Jennifer]

Hey
In this situation there is always someone that gets hurt. Can you live with hurting your wife and possibly loosing your family? The pain that you feel has it gotten worse over the years? Are you in a position now that you can have the surgery? Have you taken steps towards it yet?

[Lynn75]

Before I get started I want to know if this will count for the therapy sessions I need for my transition? I just don't want to waste my time.

No I really haven't started with any steps yet. I had planned to start everything after my wife and I move. I have too much to loose here. I may hurt my wife a little when I tell her, but I think she will come around eventually. I was really hoping that you could give me some advice on telling her. We are both bisexuals, and I am hoping that this will help her come around. I can't tell you if it will but I am hoping that it will. Now concerning the rest of my family, I just don't know if they will except it. I have thought of going through with the surgery, and keeping it a secret from them. I figured that when I move away that it would be a perfect time to have the transition take place. I also thought about what all the hormones would do to my appearance, and how to explain that away. I have not come up with a winner yet. I love my wife and the rest of my family but I just don't know how to tell any of them, especially my family (mother, father, ect...). I would really like to start the hormone treatments before we move. I also would like to have all my therapy sessions completed, so that I can start living my life as a woman when I get there. I know ill have to live as a woman for at least a year before I can have the surgery. I am not sure if that will work for me though
_________________
Just wanting to be me.

[Jennifer]

No, this will not count as therapy for you. This is a forum and it is not therapy. You need to find out what your guidelines are for therapy and we do offer therapy sessions http://www.completecounselingsolutions.com/sessions.php if you are interested.

Are you going to pick up your family move and then spring on to your wife about this? Not sure if that is the best route to go? If you want to be with her still, then honesty is the best policy. I find that it is the hurt of keeping something so important from your spouse to be the thing that hurts the most

As far as advice for telling her, you will just have to do it and I am sure that involving her in the therapy process will be helpful as well.

Good luck to you

[Lynn75]

First of all, the family that I meant was my parents, sister + brother, and the rest of the family, not my children. I would never just drop something like this on my wife. I would tell her well before I did something like that. I was just thinking of keeping it a secret from the distant family. I just wanted some advice on how to approach her on the subject. I can be very bad with words. I may be bi, but I love my wife and I do prefer women. That is why I want advice on approaching her. I still want to spend the rest of my life with her, I just want to spend that life with her as a woman.
_________________
Just wanting to be me.

[Jennifer]

Like I said honest and truthfulness is always the best policy. Make her believe that she is a part of your decision and you want her to be with you every step of the way. If you approach her with your mind made up and just tell her, then you will have already put her on the defensive and it can go either way.