i need help for my social anxiety

[lonelylovely]

i grew up in a small town and the majority of the friends that i have i have known since grade school or high school. It is easy to obtain friends in a small town because basically you grow up with them and it just sort of happens naturally. When i decided to go to college i wanted to go far away from my town and meet new people, but when i got there i was scared to death of talking to people all i wanted was to go home to my family and friends, the people that i had grown so comfortable with. i balled my eyes the entire night and had an anxiety attack. I never realized how shy i was. I couldnt' talk to anyone or introduce myself because i felt consumed by the fear that people would think i was weird or that they wouldn't like me. I cried just about every night and i never been so lonely or depressed in my life. i wasnt my self. I did not take pride in my work or in myself and my appearances. I ended up going back home for the second semester of freshman year. Second semester i attended a school closer to home. i moved into a three room dorm with five other girls. I was able to make friends with them but only because i was living with them so it was easier. Its not that i have trouble communicating its that i have trouble talking to people unless they talk to me first. its been 2 and a half years and i am currently living with one of the girls i lived with that semester of freshman year. I have grown apart with the friends i have from home and the person who is my closest friend these days is my boyfriend. I am fortunate to have him a few friends and my family but its difficult still. I feel as if i am missing out on a college experience because this issue and i believe that it is unhealthy to be so dependent on one person especially a boyfriend. My theory is boyfriends only last so long so you should have a few close friends that you depend on just as much because if you don't and that relationship ends your left with nothing. I have gotten better at talking to people in my classes and stuff but i haven't been able to get to the point where i have made friends that i can hang out with and talk to. I don't know if i don't know how or if I am just to scared and worried about what people will say or do. I guess i am just really afraid of rejection. It's really been hard i am at the point in my life where the people that i used to be able to trust and confide in and depend on are there for me anymore. I am really alone and i need some friends.
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lonely lovely

[Jennifer]

Hello:
It sounds like you have had to do a good deal of growing up in the last couple of years and you are working on your issues. I do not think it is a bad thing to have one close friend and if it is your boyfriend than you two are very close.

There is no good definition on how social is too social. I had a boyfriend for 3 years of college and had limited but close friends and I do not think that there is anything wrong with it.

What college experience to you feel your missing out on?