No control over oneself

[Jennifer]

are you still in therapy? you have been diagnosed with adhd from what i remember so the not being able to focus is part of that and the floating through life with no connections as well. it is time for you to get help with the core problem so you can flourish in all areas.

[reenaa]

not really. just went for two sessions and then didnt continue. things in life are falling in place. it is only that take unusually long to do any task. double or triple the time. cant sit and focus for long. a councellor to whom attended many sessions (long time) was sure that have got adhd. a phsychologist whom went a few session says shouldnt believe a councellor and said many have a problem with focus. this was just brief. have not spoken about it after having realised that actually have problem to focus.

How can i get help with the core problem? I dont want to take any medication as it has side effects. Definitely dont mind doing anything else. I now realise why i have a problem with talking to anyone new becuase it is difficult to get things in my mind.

[Jennifer]

you need help from a professional in order to get your thoughts in order. Medication is there to help you and if you are on the right one, it can do wonders for you without the pain of side affects. If the benefits out weigh the negatives than I always say that is a plus.

[reenaa]

Proffesional as in what kind of doctor?
Should i meet the psychologist and psychiatrist?

my parents may not understand... so will have to do it without their knowledge.

[reenaa]

adhd may have added to the complexes which i have... isnt it... not able to get my thoughts or going blank sometimes... difficult to compose myself... so not able to have knowledgeable conversations as others..

i dont know what it is to focus for long... so tell me how serious is this?

[Jennifer]

that is adhd, not that it has added to it, if you get that under control then you can feel better about things and learn how to focus on everything.

[reenaa]

Thanx.

Will catch up with the psychiatrist soon.

[Jennifer]

k, hope you can and get this fixed so you can move forward.

[reenaa]

Hi!

the doc emailed me an adult adhd checklist to answer. havent got back to him after replying it but by what i could make out of it i do have it.
well lets see what he has to say.

also have started taking some natural remedy medicines which have heard to be very helpful.

i have got some routine into my life (which is good) but fact is i still waste lot of time. my studies are nil and just playing computer games, tv and sleeping during the day. well also i sleep very late playing games then sleep during the day time. yes i have stabilised on somethings like exercise, and a daily class but other then that find it very difficult to leave these habitual norms.
well i am putting efforts to regualrise my good habits but they dont seem to be enough. avoiding any productive mental activity has become a norm now.
also i am kind of balncing the good deeds with wasteful acts daily, since i am used to that routine and also i will feel separate from myself too much.

its like my goals are in one direction and i am moving in another direction. wasting time has become a norm now. howver much i may wish,plan i doubt if it is going to come true.

secondly i have put in efforts as i said earlier in getting good habits on a daily basis. but other then that all rest is in vain.

the doc says any change is difficult and takes time. but at this point and out of repeated past experiences i think my ship wont reach the banks.

[Jennifer]

your adhd holds you back, take care of that for real and make it a priority and the rest of the stuff will be easier.

are you in school? how do you support yourself?

[reenaa]

Yes wil do that.

I have cmpletd my post grad and now doing a short term course. An hour n half daily. I dnt earn and my parents support me.

[Jennifer]

that also contributes to your lack of motivation, you have no reason to be motivated. when will you start looking for a job and supporting yourself?

[reenaa]

Ive no idea. let me finish this course and equip myself. Then after that may start earning. The post grad which have done is more freelancing and m on my own. Ive no clue whther will be able to support myself. But may be will in the future.

[Jennifer]

at least find more to do than 1 course a day. not enough to keep you stimulated and on track. you have way too much free time.

[reenaa]

oh ok.

Thank You.