Never been in a Relationship!!!!

nik_nik · Joined: 06 Dec 2008 Posts: 5

I am 20 year female college student and I have never been in a relationship. I dont know if its me or not. The fact that I havent been in a relationship causes me to have very low self-esteem. I feel unwanted and lonely. Im a fairly attractive young female and I think that I have a good personality. So, whats wrong with me? I feel like I am cursed to be alone.

Jennifer · Site Admin Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 2356

Well, what is the reason that you have never been in a relationship, has there been opportunity for relationships and just didn't happen? need to explain more before we start talking about what is wrong with you.

nik_nik · Joined: 06 Dec 2008 Posts: 5

I think it maybe because growing up I was confused about my sexuality. I knew that I was supposed to like males but females seem to catch my eye and that made me feel like an outkast. I dont think anyone has ever want to start a relationship with me.I was always told that I was weird. I dont think that any male has ever had deep feelings for me. If they did want to talk to me it was probably only physical. I also think that Im afraid of being hurt. I dont trust males. And I dont like people getting close to me cause that means I will have to open up to them. I couldnt even go to counseling because I didnt want to open up and tell her what was wrong with me. I feel emotionless. I wanna love but I just cant.

Jennifer · Site Admin Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 2356

Well sounds like you are confused about which sex to love. Have any males done anything to hurt you in the past? Love/relationships are a two way street, you might be fortunate that you did not have to deal with the drama that goes along with teenage dating and now as an adult you are trying to make smart decisions.

What is so scary about being attracted to girls?

nik_nik · Joined: 06 Dec 2008 Posts: 5

My sexuality is very confusing. No male has every done anything really to hurt me. The only thing that probably hurt was rejection and feeling like I was never pretty enough to commpete with other girls. I'm embrassed that I have never been in a relationship. I also want to like guys. I'm attracted to them and everything. So, I dont think that I'm gay but I definitely not straight cause I find females attractive. I am a very religious person and homosexuality is wrong bottomline. I wouldnt mind doing anything with a female. I rather be with a guy because first off I'm more attracted to them, but also because its right morally by my beliefs. But its hard to let got of liking females because I've been liking them since I can remember. I just really started getting interested in guys now that I'm in college.

Jennifer · Site Admin Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 2356

Okay, so do you belong to any social groups at school. any prospects that you like? Sounds to me that you are trying to think that you like guys because of your moral/religious beliefs and even if you succeed in having a relationship with a guy, you will not be happy if you like girls so I would figure that out first before you move forward.

nik_nik · Joined: 06 Dec 2008 Posts: 5

Yes, I am involved in numerous social groups some of the most elite at my university. I like a few guys right now but, they are in frats. And I was attractive to this dude that wasnt a frat, but he ended up crossing so now he's a frat. I think that I am bisexual but I lean more towards guys. I love them. I just think its whatever Im feeling at the moment. If Im in a room with guys then Im going to like them. But if Im in a room of lesbians I would like them too. I also think that me being a virgin is contributing to the chaos. Should I have sex to figure it out?

Jennifer · Site Admin Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 2356

time will figure this out for you. If you like someone, then you need to make an effort that you are available. what is wrong with the frat guys??

nik_nik · Joined: 06 Dec 2008 Posts: 5

Frat guys at my school are know to be very wild. They are all not like that , but majority of them are. The ones I like are not really too wild. Its just the fact that alot of girls are always in their face. They party alot and I dont know if I could take other females being all over someone I'm dating. I even get mad now when I see other girls on them. I'm trying to move away from the frats, but I'm attracted to them. Other guys dont catch my eye like they do.

Jennifer · Site Admin Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 2356

you are not going to find a safe relationship because there is always a chance you will get hurt. there is a difference between dating and relationship and just because you sleep/have sex with someone that does not define a relationship. guys at the college level can party, but they can be serious too. you will have to explore that as you go.