Childhood Issues unsettled

[athol]

Hello Complete Counseling Staff,

I am a 36 yr. old divorced mother of two boys. I have had concerns since my childhood. My mother adopted as a child due to her biological mothers inability to care for her. My mother mother was known as the town harlot. My mother was adopted by two wonderful people who nurtured her completely. My mother went from a high school drop out, wife and mother of two children me and my older brother, to high school graduate, divorced mother of two, to a accomplished educator with a PhD. in Education (college level). My mother had a horrible 1st marriage to my father he was physically and emotionally abusive to my mother. He is a drug addict. He has never taken part in my brother and my life. They divorced after 18 yrs. I was maybe 8 when they separated.

I currently am divorced. My husband is an addict (crack), we stayed married for 11 years. I just didn't want to believe the rumors. We even casually dated in high school, and attended the same university. My marriage was absolutely hell, and was full of lies and deceit. Prior to this marriage I was with a street pharmacist, for 7 years. He lied, cheated, and everything else. He went to prison. We split, and I was approached by my husband in a casual manner, and we began dating and married shortly after. They are both handsome, speak well, and give the impression of having it all together unless you learn other wise. Ex. If a tree and no one is there to see it, does it make a sound.

Now Inevitably, my problems began I believe when I was 8-9 when I was molested by a close family friend. The friend was female. And after that I was molested again by a family friend male, who is the child of my mom's husband and vice versa. I was molested by the son of my father's wife. I have been haunted by the things and after 20 yrs. I revealed to my mother what had happened. She has no idea how many time or who.

I in the past 11 yrs I have not been able to maintain a regular job. I am a licensed cosmetologist/ hairstylist. I have no joy. I have feelings of hopelessness. My husband just beat me to dust emotionally. My mother is very concerned about me. I don't want to face the world. I want to be energetic and take a chance at a new life, but how do I let all this go?

[Jennifer]

you don't let it go, you deal with it so you can put in in the past. where are you living now? are you still with your husband (wasn't sure about that)

are you close with your mom? how are your kids emotionally? are you currently working? any ideas on how or what you want to do with your life?

lets start there.