Wish I knew...

smr052000 · Joined: 11 Dec 2010 Posts: 14

I am a 25 woman currently pregnant with my first child. Last Saturday, I just found out I was robbed of $4400. My boyfriend told me about it, he waited 2 1/2 months after there money was discovered missing to tell me. I had to take it out of my savings to qualify for medicaid, and I couldn't let my parents hold onto it because they would interrogate me on every cent I took out, which now doesn't sound so bad. My boyfriend and I hid it together in a specific spot and did not touch it until a week before he discovers it missing- we were adding money to it. He has been without a job since this time, and says he would have never touched that money for anything because it wasn't his. It just really hurts that I had to find out right before christmas time- he had been telling me it was hidden safe still. Even worse, I just got hired as a kindergarten teacher, but do not sign my contract until after the first of the year, so I will not get paid until the end of January, and he still is jobless. I'm not sure how to cope, what to do, or who to believe. This is this worst possible time and circumstances for this to happen to me, especially being 6 months pregnant. I'm at my wits end.

Jennifer · Site Admin Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 2356

i am so sorry to hear that but it also sounds as if you have a lot of good things in your life, you are pregnant and you are going to be employed with health benefits. you have medicaid now so you will be able to have health insurance for your child when he/she is born. do you believe your boyfriend about the money?

smr052000 · Joined: 11 Dec 2010 Posts: 14

I will only have medicaid until the end of this year, because I thought getting health benefits through the school district would allow me to have pre existing, but now I wont know that until January when I finally sign my contract. Everything my boyfriend said to me seemed sincere, he wanted to put the money back himself without me ever having to worry or know, but that just kinda makes him look worse. And now my mom thinks that he took it and wants nothing to do with him, he still doesn't have a job absolutely it's christmas time. It just seems to be spiraling in the wrong direction for me.

Jennifer · Site Admin Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 2356

dont think that preexisiting conditions will be a problem with the school board, your child will get medicaid for 3 months even if you don't have it and while you are pregnant. look into it. didn't get an answer from you if you believe him or not. what in your opinion is spirialing for you. you have your health, you have your family and you have a relationship. the money factor is just one part in the whole picture.

smr052000 · Joined: 11 Dec 2010 Posts: 14

Well, there's nothing to show for $4400, but he hasn't had a job since the money has been gone. However, i've been helping him not knowing that my savings was gone. He said that there is no way he could ever do that to me, but my mom keeps saying things trying to make me have some "common sense" and believe otherwise. She thinks that I am being naïve and shouldn't trust him. I've always took my moms advice on everything because she always ends up right, but I love him and want to believe him when he says he's going to make things better. She says she refuses to meet his parents until he tells them what happened, but he says if he tells them he let this happen to me they would never speak t him again. I don't know what to do, I just want my family to accept him and they refuse. It's hard being pulled from both ends.

Jennifer · Site Admin Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 2356

sounds like this is more about your boyfriend and your mom than the money. you still haven't answered me if you believe him or not. is he able to collect unemployment?

smr052000 · Joined: 11 Dec 2010 Posts: 14

Yes, I believe him. No, he is not able to draw unemployment because he quit, he was not laid off or fired. My mom is constantly dogging him because he "hasn't proved himself to her yet" so she doesnt want to meet his family until he tells them what happened.

Jennifer · Site Admin Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 2356

okay, how much do you care how your mom feels about him?

smr052000 · Joined: 11 Dec 2010 Posts: 14

My mother's opinion has always mattered a great deal to me, because everything she has predicted in my life has come true. I don't know if that is coincidence or if I just let her take over. I am an only child and if I don't talk to her everyday she kind of freaks out. My whole life she's tried to shelter me from everything,still when I am now 25 she does the same. She says I am " her baby" and she's always going to try to do that. I want my dad to approve of him too but right now both of them look down on him it hurts me.

Jennifer · Site Admin Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 2356

i am sure. moms are that way and you have to decide how much it will influence your life. is your boyfriend the father of your child?

smr052000 · Joined: 11 Dec 2010 Posts: 14

I had just broken up with my ex when i started seeing my current boyfriend again. I am 90% sure my current boyfriend is the father, due to the time period, but I would be more comfortable with a dna test, just to put my mind at rest. The first 5 weeks of my pregnancy I was a wreck because I wanted to know for sure, but we will see, I suppose, after the baby is born.

Jennifer · Site Admin Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 2356

is he acting like he is the father and willing to be a part of your baby's life? are you going to push the dna test when the baby is born?

smr052000 · Joined: 11 Dec 2010 Posts: 14

Yes, he is definitely acting like he is the father and wants to be a part of this. He really doesn't think there needs to be a dna test, but i feel like there should be one. It will put mine and my familys mind at ease. Things have calmed down some with the family, however it still really hurts that the money is gone, it has made christmas a depressing time for me when it should be more joyful.

Jennifer · Site Admin Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 2356

glad to hear that things have calmed down. yes it is horrible about the money but you need to make the holidays into something special without money. you will remember it more

smr052000 · Joined: 11 Dec 2010 Posts: 14

Trust me, with parents like mine, that is easier said than done. My mom keeps stressing the fact that that money was for the baby, and someone has taken that away from me. Even worse my boyfriend got his job back and he goes into work tomorrow at 8am until 5pm or later. He says he has to take my car becuz it will look like he doesn't have reliable transportation if he doesn't, but that means I will be without my car from at least 8-5, and my mom has forbidden him to drive my car because she says if anything bad were to happen it would go under my dads record, not really sure how that works, but anyway my boyfriend has no insurance or license, but he makes me feel bad if i don’t let him. Very frustrating situation, i was mad at him about the money, still kinda am, and now he wants me to let him take my car??