No Call No Show

[D30]

I am unemployed and looking for a new job. I seem to have a chronic problem of leaving my jobs when my life gets stressfull. It usually ends with me not calling and not showing up at work. I feel like the harder I try not to do it the worse I feel when it happens. What is so irritating is that I never wanted to leave my jobs. I really wanted to work and do my job well. There is only one job that I have ever really left with notice and that was a job I held for 3 years. I am tired of repeating this behavior over and over and want it to stop. I don't understand why I do it. I don't want to do it. I feel so ashamed and bad when it happens. I tried to be honest about it at my last job and they fired me so I am at a loss anynmore. When I work I work hard. I want to do a good job. I start off with lots of energy and then things happen in my life that just sap my strength and I try to be strong and goto work anyway but it just gets so hard. I wan't to tell my supervisor whats going on in my life but I just can't seem to communicate what I was going through. It is like things get better in my life I get a great job and then things get worse and I quit my job. I can't keep doing this. I was living with my brother until he kicked me out cause I made him mad. He was drinking and flew into a rage. He slammed his fist against the wall in his room. He was suicidal before and keeps talking about how he wants to end it all. I was concerned when I heard this and asked him to just show himself so that I could see that he wasn't injured. I threatened to call the cops to come and check on him if he didn't come out. He came out all right. He chased me around the house threatening to beat me up if I didn't get out. So I left. Now I am living with my uncle and trying to start over again. I have moved so many times I don't even bother to unpack anymore. My only possessions fit in my car. I don't want to start another job just to leave it in a few months. I don't know if I want to stay with my uncle or not.

[Jennifer]

Hey
sounds as if you are struggling to find yourself. how old are you? the job that you stayed at for 3 years, what was it about that you enjoyed? why was it that you stayed at that job.

i noticed that you say job, not career, are these just a way to make money. do you have any interest at all in what you are doing at these jobs.

[D30]

I have posted in a few other threads but I am 34. The job I stayed 3 years at wasn't immune from me not calling in or showing up. I got written up for it and talked to by my supervisor. I just didn't do it again although when I did leave I did resign without notice. Might as well have been the same thing I guess.

I moved out of state to start a relationship and to get away from my family. The relationship lasted for about a year and then ended. During the relationship I think I had gone through two jobs. My brother had some troubles and moved in with me. We both applied and got work at the same company. It was a telemarketing company. At the time we could share expenses and payoff some of our debts. That company lost its clients and we were both laid off. We then applied to work for an internet company doing customer service. We both got hired on and worked there for about 3 years. At that time we were both making good money, had gotten out of debt and were ready to really start making a future. My dad got sick with cancer and we both resigned and move back home. We spent the first several months searching for a job while trying to visit with our dad who was slowly deteriorating. We stayed in a hotel for awhile then moved in with our cousin then I got tired and cramped and moved into an apartment of my own. I got a job as an emergency dispatch operator but the stress of not making a mistake was getting to me. After losing that job I couldn't afford my apt anymore so I ended up moving back home. Actually I think I just skipped over a wholed section where I worked in customer service taking inquires for an online stockbrokerage. I left that job when my dad died.

I have worked as a loan consolidation specalist, knife salesman, nightwatchman, a research poll intverviewr, a construction worker, a house truss manufacturer, grain elevator worker, janitor, truck loader, plastic pipe manufacturer oh and I detasseled corn and walked beans when I was a kid.

Out of all these jobs, i own nothing. Well I take that back I have a few things. I did buy a laptop, some furniture and a car. I trie to take night classes at a local technical college for computer science. but the college went bankrupt. I try taking a correspondence course for computer science when I was still in highschool. I got halfway through the course in about 3 months and they wouldn't send me any more materials until I had paid half of the tuition for the course.

And I had poor living conditions to overcome when I was growing up, social phobias, being introverted, being sabatoged, having no support etc.

[Jennifer]

sounds as if there was logical reasons for the loss of each job, not that you just gave up. One was the company another was your family. In each situation, I didn't see anything that would give me the indication that you have just walked off the job without a reason.

Sounds as if you have tried enough stuff and now it is time to find a career. Out of all the jobs you have had, what interests you the most?

[D30]

[Jennifer]

Sounds as if you have been in crisis mode yes, are you still in it or has life stablized for you? It is hard to start something new when you have so much to deal with, but even through your typing I could tell you were excited about computer programing.

Is that something that you can go for? you need something to challenge your mind and sounds as if you have not found that yet.

[D30]

I went and applied at a staffing company today. The might hire me. That is about as hopeful as I can muster. I don't thing being a computer programmer is realistic. With all the stress and everything I have forgotten more then I remember. It is a dream a hobby.

[Jennifer]

Great, let me know what happens with the job. the thing right now is to get to a stable point and then think of the dream job. You are a lot more motivated than you give yourself credit for.

[D30]

I got a call back from the staffing agency. They faxed over my information and now want me to come in for another test. They want me to take a personality test. I hope I don't flunk.

[Jennifer]

nah, you will be fine, you are a very insightful person. Keep it up and you will be employed in no time.

[D30]

I just got done taking my "personality" test. I didnt' think employers could ask questions like "Am I attracted to the opposite sex?" "Do I like to flirt?" "Have I had an intersting religious experience?" What the heck kind of a test is this and is it legal? None of the questions were ones that I was not willing to answer, but I just am a bit concerned that it is innapropriate.

[Jennifer]

what type of employement is it? haven't heard of that as of yet, but nothing is unheard of. is it a big company? if so then I am guessing it is legal but it is not a test I have ever heard of.

[D30]

I am applying through a staffing company. They gave me a waiver to sign saying this test was the actual employers. I dont' know if they are a big company or not. It is a clerical data entry type position. I know employers are not allowed to ask those types of questions in an interview. If they are using this test to screen applicants and determine eligibility for employment, I don' see how the answers to those questions are relevant. I called the staffing company back and at least asked her to review the test questions that I felt were innapropriate. Oh just as a side note, my car battery was dead so I had to walk down there.

[Jennifer]

on another side note, you cannot tell me you are unmotivated. you are the most motivated person, to walk means you have drive if you didn't you would have given up. kudos to you

[D30]

No word yet. Still trying to stay motivated. The more I look the more I regret the way I left my other jobs. Part of me feels like I don't deserve another job. So many employers have given me a chance and I failed. I work really hard at each job but in the end I just quit or leave without telling anyone anything. I was dependable, on time, prompt, flexible and willing to do whatever it took and then I let them down by just not showing up one day. I think I may have used up all my chances.