no one else to turn to

[sadgirl]

This is really hard for me. When I was 12 my mothers b-friend had sexual realations with me. It happened for about 2 years. I never said no (until the end). I am now 24 and am having a hard time dealing with things and would like to talk to someone about it. If there is someone out there that would care to listen and help. Thank you so much.

[Jennifer]

What would you like to tell? Please feel free to openly express how you are feeling. Congrats on moving forward with your life and the willingness to talk about what has happened.

[sadgirl]

there are so many things I don;t know were to start. um my mom doesn't believe he was in the wrong she says I was. i never said no and even sometimes wanted it but I was 12 and he was 30 and with my mom. Was I wrong, should I have known better, sooner than I did anyway.

[Jennifer]

Just tell your story, you will find that people outside of your family are more understanding than your family. If your mom has to face the fact that it happened, then she has to admit that there is something wrong with her that she didn't see it and that she could be with someone that could do such things. Denial is a safe place to be

[sadgirl]

Thats just it, I can't say she didn't.It all started hen he wanted me and mother to do a show for him in laungeray(how ever you spell it) and we did,Both of us.Then it went from there and he would come in my bedroom and do things.He said i was special, his soul mate, that thats what a father and daughter were suposed to do.I believed his every word he was my dad and i loved him. I thought it was ok and normal and I also thought how could my mom not know, and if it was ok with her than it must be ok to do it right. then one day i was sleeping and he came in and started and i woke up and something felt wrong and i asked him what the **** he was doing.he got up and left. I later told my mom and she left him,for a while anyway and soon they were back together so i left state. Anyway a lot of time has past now and they are no longer together and alot has changed. why it is hard for me now is my mom and i no long speak to one another for reasons other than this and a whole nother story but I my feelings are that she knew the whole time and i hate her for alowing it to happen. And many,many other things as well. I aslo feel like i am in the wrong for it all. I should have known better.I shouldn't have liked or wanted it.why do i feel so disgusted with myself for it?

[Jennifer]

It is easier as an adult to look back and say that you should have done something different. The adults in your life are the ones that did the wrong things, NOT YOU. Now, you have to start forgiving yourself in order to move forward. You cannot live your life for your mother or anyone else, What do you want for your life? If you went to sleep tonight and a mirlce happened, what would be the first thing that you would notice in the morning? Whatever you answer is what you need to start to acheive

[B1987]

I'm very sorry that your mom's bf did that to you, but we do have something in common, we both don't talk to our mothers. For different reasons of course but i know how it feels to not have your mom in your life. And further more, what your mom did was wrong, especially if she knew about it! That's not very good parenting and maybe your better off without her in your life. She should have believed you!

Smile life goes on and good things will come to you

[B1987]

I'm very sorry that your mom's bf did that to you, but we do have something in common, we both don't talk to our mothers. For different reasons of course but i know how it feels to not have your mom in your life. And further more, what your mom did was wrong, especially if she knew about it! That's not very good parenting and maybe your better off without her in your life. She should have believed you!

Smile life goes on and good things will come to you