i keep cutting myself...

[Emo-Vampire]

i keep cutting myself. im a 17 year old boy. a few years ago my baby sister died from being born to early, and my mom told me it was my fault. ever since then ive seen how sad people are around me and how ive caused it in sum way. i just think since ive caused it i should feel that same pain.. and that i should make my body as ugly as i feel on the inside. i cant stop. i cut about 50 X's across my stomach sides and back the other day.i dont feel like i can stop. i need help.

[Jennifer]

Yes you do need help and it sounds as if the people around you need help too. Shame on your mother for saying such a thing to you. What happened with your sister? Do you think she would want you to be in so much pain? Cutting is not the solution to getting rid of the pain and based on how much you are doing it, you realize that the pain does not go away just because you cut.

The pain will go away when you deal with your emotions and accept your sister's death and move on from it. Cutting is a dangerous thing and I am hesitate to help you through here so if we are going to continue I need you to make a pact that you will stop cutting.

If you went to see a therapist they would do the same thing

[k.muirhead]

I am also a fellow cutter. I understand how you feel in my own way. I've been struggling to stop but I couldn't stop cold turkey. I've found that it's best to keep it to as little as possible and after I had kept a steady downwards flow of the cutting I switched to a rubber band around my wrists at all times. Whenever I get the urge I would snap it on my wrist and it actually felt like it was more of a reliever then the actual cutting sometimes. It's worked pretty well for me. I'm here if you ever want to talk. Good luck, bud.