how do i get my familly the help we need?

marie4 · Joined: 22 Jul 2008 Posts: 15

my mother is out of control and my family and i don't know what to do anymore. I am the oldest of five girls. I am 31 and have my own family but I deal with my mother's episodes everyday . Her most recent act was leaving the house because she didn't want to hear my sister tell her like it is. I know this sounds vague, but bottom line she's been gone for three days already and took my father's keys to the his vehicle and another vehicle plus the computer cord. its just a mess. I want to get us help but what steps do i have to do to get it? counseling?

Jennifer · Site Admin Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 2356

Counseling would be a great option. This situation is serious and it sounds like it is draining on your emotions. Getting advice from friends or even law enforcement is not going to help your mom right now. What do you think is going on with her.

marie4 · Joined: 22 Jul 2008 Posts: 15

well alot of things set her off, but as of right now my youngest sister who is 18 and just finishe highschool is pretty much leaving for college but my mom is trying everything she can to avoid that from happening. II received a call from my dad about a minute ago because he's in the process of getting my sister prepared for college financial aid and what not. Turns out that they need my mother's signature for the financial aid, my dad cant sign because of some mess my mother did with the income tax return. Eitherway she's refusing to sign>> they tried calling her and she said she wasn't signing. It's crazy. And to think that i thought she was trying to change because last week she admitted to me that she needs help but is afraid to get it. now this. We don't know how to communicate with her. Everything angers her. And if we tell her ewhat she needs to do to try to change things we're attacking her. She's playing the victim right now. She's already called other relatives and told them the situation and blames everyone else but of course leaves out her actions

Jennifer · Site Admin Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 2356

well, your dad will have to deal with financial aid himself or ask for an extention. When is your sister supposed to start school? Has your mom acted like this in the past? Do you know if she has any type of mental illness or is this hormones, menopause?

marie4 · Joined: 22 Jul 2008 Posts: 15

I believe she starts the second or third week of September. And yes my mother has acted like this before. We believe she may be bi-polar but she has never been diagnosed by a doctor with it or anyother mental disorders. As far as menopause I don't know. I know she was taking hormone pills for it about five years ago. She's 51 now. I honestly think she's bi-polar but then again I'm not a doctor. we have experienced some pretty crazy situations with my mother. She needs help. I hate to say this but she has even tried to take some pills and threaten to take them but no one ever takes her seriously. She acts out like a child does and has done it too many times that everyone ignores her. sad but true

Jennifer · Site Admin Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 2356

Sorry to hear that, but the important thing is that everyone else around her stays healthy. It can be verystressfull dealing with an undiagnosed, uncooperative person and add to the fact that it is your relative it makes it 100 times worse. How do you all support each other emotionally i mean?

marie4 · Joined: 22 Jul 2008 Posts: 15

well we try to stay positive for eachother. I think the fact that i am a mother and one of my sisters is as well, it helps the situation. We need to be strong for them. Remain together as a family and try to take things day by day. We have made kind of a pact with eachother that we wouldn't allow mother to tear us apart. She has tried in the past to be aagainst one another, and we've fought because of her but in the end have come through it. I don't know i just found out that my mother hasn't paid 3 monhs of taxes and my dad is really upset about that right now because it means she lied about paying them. it's a mess. Is counseling really pricy?

marie4 · Joined: 22 Jul 2008 Posts: 15

well we try to stay positive for eachother. I think the fact that i am a mother and one of my sisters is as well, it helps the situation. We need to be strong for them. Remain together as a family and try to take things day by day. We have made kind of a pact with eachother that we wouldn't allow mother to tear us apart. She has tried in the past to be aagainst one another, and we've fought because of her but in the end have come through it. I don't know i just found out that my mother hasn't paid 3 monhs of taxes and my dad is really upset about that right now because it means she lied about paying them. it's a mess. Is counseling really pricy?

Jennifer · Site Admin Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 2356

That is great that your family and you are so close and that you can stay united with your mom. How are things going???