help me ;((( Cryng on the inside shatterd on the out

[Ali Marie]

My mind keeps eating away @ itself Iv found myself deppressed and angry ;( I used to be a happy confedint young lady and now Im more insequre then ny thing I try sooo hard not to be but I cant Find any confedents or faith in my self, otherz, or anything else

I dnt even beleave in religon ny more nd i used to.... my depresion wnt go away it keepz comming back It pushez me into suicidle thoughts If it waznt for my boyfriend I would have ended myself already

I feel like Im trapt I have no real friends im always ockword around them n there alwayz ockword around me almost as if I make them uncomfterble....

I get weirder and weirder I want to know why! It could be me myself, or it could be my anger and depression pushing people away...

I cuss alot I smoke Weed nd even my boyfriend keepz bringing up how angry I am or how sad I am

My anger and deppression hit me at random times I CANT LET THINGS GO FOR THE LIFE OF ME!!!!!!! I try to let stuff go but I cant and I realy do try ;( I think my depresion comes from my past...it waz pretty rough....

my anger has surfaced recently Im worried ;( my mind, no emotions are taking over my life and I want it to stop!!!!

It could be in my head but it seemz IM ALWAY IGNOREDDD OR SHUT OUT!!!!! Ill be talking in a normal voice with a person then someone else will start talking to that person over me ignoring what I just said my boyfriend even ignores me around his friends he NEVER talks to me

And when he does he doesnt ignolage what I say he shrugs it off but he knows he ignored me because he will appologize later and then make up for by being supper sweet

I feel crushed inside no one will listen Im on the outside looking in and its tearing me appart ;((((( no one will listen Im so alone Im tierd of feeling like a ghost people walk right through mee what should I do about my anger and depresion??? any other advise on anything else??? it would be greattlll needed PLEASEE HELPP me If been tryng to do this myself for so long but I just cant anymore ;(

[Jennifer]

hey
do you have a history of depression? have you ever been on meds for depression? the anger could be a symptom of the depression. you state that nobody listens, what have you been trying to say? you also state that you used to be different, what is different in your life now than before?

[Ali Marie]

I do have a history of depresion and I have never been on meds my mom is afraid it will make me worse.. it started a little bit befor my family started moving from place to place and I remember and found alot of stuff out about my chiled hood I never knew till i got older and just any thing ill talk about what ever is on subject that my "friends" are talking about they still wont listen ;( and thats kind of good to kno the anger could be a symtom of depression

[Jennifer]

is your mom still the reason why you aren't on meds. if you are depressed, meds will stabilize your mood and help you deal with the craziness of life

[Ali Marie]

maybe like i said she doesnt want them to mess me up more and other then meds iv been beging for a theripist and ether the subject gets lost or she stops bringing it up or shel get rly close to getting one then never will but I get it there expensive wher kinda broke :/ but Id like to try talking to someone befor I take meds who knows maybe thats all I need problem is noone listens :./

[Jennifer]

how old are you?

[Ali Marie]

16 :/

[Jennifer]

this forum is for people over 18 just for the reason that your parents need to be informed about what is going on, if you want you can find a forum for teenagers to talk about stuff, but i highly suggest that you talk to your mom and get her to realize that you need help.