he broke me.

ennjaee · Joined: 12 Nov 2008 Posts: 5

i had been dating this boy since december last year, a few months ago he started getting really violent. i was an idiot though, and i kept forgiving him. he would apologize and i would fall in love all over again. im not used to feeling wanted, and i loved it when he wanted me. a few weeks ago it was bad though. he pushed me into the coffee table and i cut my leg open. i broke up with him, but he begged me for a few days to take him back. i agreed to it, but he wasnt allowed at my place. i would go out and meet him somewhere public, and not every day. then he decided to break it off. now he is completely over me...im pretty sure he hates me, but im still madly in love with hijm and i dont understand why. it drives me crazy cause i want to hate his guts for everything he has ever done to me, but i dont understand why i love him still. this whole situation has me a mess. i dont eat or sleep. i cry too much, i just dont know how much more of this i can handle.

Jennifer · Site Admin Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 2356

Hey
Sounds like you were in an abusive relationship and he did a number on you. I know it hurts but he did you a favor by leaving. I also know that you will get over him and move one. What do you think drew you to him? and what did you love about him? You need to understand your warning signs so this does not happen again to you.

ennjaee · Joined: 12 Nov 2008 Posts: 5

he was the first guy ive had such a serious relationship with...when he was in a good mood, he was such a great guy. i knew him when i was younger, our families were friends, and everything just seemed to click into place. the whole beginning of the relationship was good, i dont know what happened. and i dont know why i missed all the warning signs. im even more depressed when i think about how stupid i was for not seeing them

Jennifer · Site Admin Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 2356

Hey
Abusers are very good at hiding the warning signs and being very charming, they get kicks out of it. You can beat yourself up for eternity, but it is not going to make you feel anybetter. It was a lesson in love and a very big one the first time out.

Do you have friends? a social network that you hang out in?

ennjaee · Joined: 12 Nov 2008 Posts: 5

i have a best friend, but thats really all...im not overly social, i spent all my time with him before...and my best friend is not much help...i mean she is great and all, but she doesnt make me feel better, she just kind of ignores everything i try to talk about...

Jennifer · Site Admin Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 2356

well there is so much she can do, but one thing that she can do is take your mind off of things. Friends are not for dumping even if they are great friends because everyone has there own stuff going on and cannot be bothered with other people's stuff, doesn't mean they are bad friends, just that they cannot handle that much.

Are you keeping busy? Is he still in your cell phone?

ennjaee · Joined: 12 Nov 2008 Posts: 5

well i live with her, and we try to keep busy, but everything reminds us of him...we spent SOOOOO much time with him.
and yes he is still in my cell phone...he's in my fave 5 still...and i still have so muh of his stuff, and he still talks to me...

Jennifer · Site Admin Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 2356

You are going to have to seperate yourself from him or else he will creep back into your life and start the same stuff over again. You have an opportunity to move forward here and it would be advisable to take it. The only way to move forward is to break free of him. It will get easier but you have to start first in order for it to become easier.

ennjaee · Joined: 12 Nov 2008 Posts: 5

now he's going crazy
he's starting to stalk me
so im leaving
my parents want me to go back home

Jennifer · Site Admin Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 2356

now it is time to talk restraining order. are you up for that? is there a support group in your area that you can join for battered women? you need support