depressd and lost

marie4 · Joined: 22 Jul 2008 Posts: 15

I feel very depressed and lost in my life right now. I have a lot to be grateful for my husband and my children but I dont feel I am a positive influence to any one of them right now. I feel ungrateful and sorry because I find it difficult to be "the woman" I need to be. Everyday is a struggle for me because I'm terrified of people. I don't show it because I know I have to do it for my family. But it's painful inside.

Jennifer · Site Admin Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 2356

What standards are you living up too, to whom are you trying to please by being the women? Most women who are wives and mothers feel like they do not have enough time in the day and no time for themselves.

Have you ever felt like this before?

marie4 · Joined: 22 Jul 2008 Posts: 15

Yes I have felt like this before and have been on meds. That was three years ago. I was diagnosed with social anxiety then, and about six months after I became pregnant and stopped taking them.
I feel hopeless because I'm trying to finish college, graduation is about three weeks away and I don't have a plan. I went back to college to feel worthy and it didn't work because I couldn't find the time for my studies and my family. My GPA isn't great and all I can think of is that i don't have anything to offer an employer. nor my family

Jennifer · Site Admin Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 2356

Congrats on your upcoming degree! When you were on meds in the past, did it help? Do you have a career planning at your school to help guide you in the right direction. Seems like your looking for a path and in order to find one, you need to have faith in yourself and your dreams. We are all destined to do something and you need to start feeling better so you can find what you were destined to do.

Do you feel guilt towards your family?

marie4 · Joined: 22 Jul 2008 Posts: 15

The meds worked. I felt more focussed and didn"t care what people were thinking. I analyzed every situation i had with someone else. I 'm starting to do it again but I try praying and meditating to stay focussed.

My school does have a career planning program but I'm afraid. I don't know of what . My sister said something the other day and she made alot of sense. She said I was the only one keeping myself from moving forward. She's right.

Guilt? Yes i feel guilty not being there when I am there. My kids have me physically but I always feel like I 'm not there menetally. When it's time to look for a job what am I going to do? Who is going to be there? i want to be there. I haven't worked in 10 yrs. My kids have been my life and my job. I don't know what having a job is like and it terrifies me.

My husband has all of these dreams. BIg dreams. He plans to move us from where we are to a bigger city. That scares me too.

Jennifer · Site Admin Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 2356

Sounds like you might need to go to the doctor and try to meds again. It is understandable to feel fear about the job market, but PLEASE do not diminish what you have done for the last 10 years. That is the hardest job in the world and if you can do that without being mentally there, then finding a job in the work place will be a breeze for you!

Your sister is right of course, but it still does not make it any easier to accomplish. Talk to your school about some career counseling. Even I did it to get focused on what I wanted to do.

prelandra14 · Joined: 07 Jan 2009 Posts: 18 Location: Fresno

My mother is exactly the same
_________________
Ray P.

prelandra14 · Joined: 07 Jan 2009 Posts: 18 Location: Fresno

My mother is exactly the same
_________________
Ray P.