broken

[jokat]

I'm in my late thirties and unemployed. Spent most of my life playing music in bands instead of going to school.I have always dealt with depression, and have had some really dark times. Have worked in restaurants all my life and have hated most of it. Was at my last job for 8 yrs, until they closed down. Never really developed any skills that could get me another type of job. Could never come up with anything I'd want to put any effort into.

I got engaged last year (while still employed) and things started to come together. For the first time in my life, I felt like I might be able to be happy. Even though I had a crappy job, I was okay with it because I had other things to look forward to. Then I found myself unemployed. All wedding plans stopped, can't really plan something awesome with no money.

Now it's been like, 6 months and I'm still unemployed. My fiance has been great about it. I'm just not motivated. I feel like I have this whole new exciting life ahead of me and yet I can't seem to get myself out there to find a job. I feel like I have no options and I'll just end up in another dead end job.I can't bear the soulsucking. I'm running out of $ and feel like a complete loser. I don't know why I can't get myself together. I feel like my life is at a standstill, and I just can't get myself to jump in again, even though I have so much to look forward to.
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jokat

[Jennifer]

congrats on your upcoming life and sounds as if you do have great things coming to you. i think the way you are feeling is the way a lot of people feel and thank-you for opening up this post about it.

times are tough right now for everyone and it is important to remember what makes you happy and appreciate everything good in your life.

have you thought about temp work?

[jokat]

Well, like I don't really have many skills to fall back on. I have really only worked at restaurants. Such a mistake. I was too busy doing music and just hanging out, while most people were getting an education. I just don't feel driven to go take classes to have a "normal" job. The things I feel passionate about cannot make me enough money to survive. You'd think getting married would motivate me to just get any job, so that I'm at least working. I just feel like such a loser when someone asks me what I do, and I have to say "waitress".
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jokat

[silent]

Hi

I realise that financialy you are not in a position to study further. But you are never too old to study.. further your education. I know of a guy who turned 85 and was still studying.

Decide what you really want to be and do.. and go for it!! Work (for money) just to get there!

A movie that really motivated was "The pursuit of happyness" with Will Smith. Did you watch it?

Maybe the reason you feel depressed is because you don't live up to your potential.

[silent]

Hi

I realise that financialy you are not in a position to study further. But you are never too old to study.. further your education. I know of a guy who turned 85 and was still studying.

Decide what you really want to be and do.. and go for it!! Work (for money) just to get there!

A movie that really motivated was "The pursuit of happyness" with Will Smith. Did you watch it?

Maybe the reason you feel depressed is because you don't live up to your potential.

[Jennifer]

The pursuit of happiness was a great movie and a true story that if you have determination and a goal anything is possible. thxs for reminding us that we all are stronger than we realize