Stability Problem in my life

[sharathweb]

First I would like to thank you mam for creating this free forum.

My name is Sharath Krishna, 20 years old living in Bangalore,India. I hope you respond to me as I am not a US citizen.

My life started on 11 January 1988 in a modern open minded Indian family(not like the ones you see in TV )consisting of my mother,my dad and my 2 elder sisters, I was admitted in a Christian school called Baldwin's boys highs school in Bangalore. As memory serves I was a quiet and soft one in nursery(kindergarten), I was beaten up by my classmates. This was my first scar in my mind. When I was 8 to 10 years, I was in junior class(below 5th grade), I used to wait for my dad to pick me up from school. In this time there were other children waiting and some crying. I used to consul them. I guess this nature(gift or cure) was given to me by god. As known being soft and kind does not help in this world. My Family was shaken by many different problem in my children which made me this way(Depressed). When I was 16 my dad died and I was completely exposed to the outer real bad world. My relatives were the worst. So in this problem I developed a depression(causes are not being to help, cheated,hurt by many people).
To tell you the truth most people in India are not so good(IE development in terms of intellect) bollywood and Desi just copy western and make a mockery out of the real people. The people in Bangalore are kind of bad(even the docter to whom I consulted drained my savings) trying to cheat you if your low(emotion,status,money). But still I have to say there are good people too. (I just told you this to inform you about my world... This is my own experience and might be wrong for others).
Since 16th year to 19th of my life I was in depression... Only doing college work(no social life). I this time I develop reasoning in my mind. Telling to myself that thing will be all right through logical and god grace. I never had girlfriend till now. Funny cause I used to think always how to take care of her make her happy(This came because couples around me were not happy IE husband cheating wife for other women(my dad included)). Now my confidence, self esteem and will to live is very low(living for my mom now). I am thin in appearances and OK looking, I have allot of problem like ocd , social problem.
I always like every single minute keep telling my self that things will be alright. This is hard for me.
I would like to know if all these problems will be solved and lead a normal life.
I believe that god is one and have faith in both Christian and Hindu god. I pray for them both to rescue me.
I think being good is worthless as people who are bad get everything. But my inside and god scripts tell to be good.
I have allot to say but cant write it. But I can tell you. I might sounded weird in the above message, sorry.
I don't have money now except to pay my fees and rent but once I am OK someday I will pay you back. I'd be glad to talk to you through online.

[Jennifer]

I believe that all people have good in them, but not all of them show it all the time. You are old enough now to realize that you get to decide how to live your life, so you can choose to live it in depression or happiness. What makes you happy? What are you grateful for? Tell me about your girlfriend.

[sharathweb]

your right what you said does make sense. I don't have a girlfriend.

[Jennifer]

How are you doing?