Something's wrong, and I've no idea what.

[drawnoutsigh]

I don't really know where to start. I think I suffer from depression, but it's pretty strange. I'm fine during most of the day, but during evenings when I'm watching something where I feel really close to a character or listening to songs i can really relate to I just start crying and feeling really lonely, and don't stop for a long time. the weird thing is I kinda like it. It makes me really sad, but at the same time feel close and isolated with whatever im watching/listening to. I also got some symptoms of depression such as i don't really want to do anything anymore (hobbies etc) and im really prejudistic about people around me - though my judgment usually proves right.

Ive had this for a few years and I choose to ignore it and just bottled it up, but i think its time i deal with it.

[Jennifer]

Glad to hear that you are dealing with things and yes it sounds as if you are very insightful. Do you relate to happy characters as well or is it only sad ones? Might want to try watching upbeat shows for a bit to see if it helps your mood out any.

as far as the hobbies go, did you grow out of them,did they grow out of you and what are you interested in now?

[drawnoutsigh]

It really depends on the character or music, but a lot of the time it happens when theyre happy, but it happens in a worse way when something bad happens to them. The shows and music are usually quite upbeat, but dramatic so,

It was stuff like tennis, basketball, music, so I didn't really grow out of them. Just I moved here a few years ago and I don't really like this place and am quite lonely. I gave things a few shots - parties and sports but i just feel so out of place. It's been a few years and now I just don't feel like doing things anymore.

[Jennifer]

the best and easiest way to find new friends in a new city is to find out what interests you and join a group that does it. volunteering is always a great idea

sounds as if you have too much time on your hands and need to reengage in your life.

[drawnoutsigh]

I did try and join groups with my interests - played for my school basketball team, joined a tennis club, but i just dont seem to get along with people here. and i dont feel like trying anymore. i know i need to engage in my life, but i just dont have the will to.

[Jennifer]

are you okay with the person you are now? if not then you need to make changes in who you are? if you are okay with this person, then maybe your personality has changed and your interests have changed as well?

[drawnoutsigh]

Im okay with the kind of person i am - my judgment, personality and dignity etc. but im not Ok with the fact that during the ''liveliest'' years a person gets im just sitting at home doing nothing, without the want to do anything.

[Jennifer]

simple advice, so stop doing nothing and go out and do something if what interests you in the past no longer does, find out what does and engage. nothing is going to change unless you make an effort to change it