Questions eager for answers

[nodaybutt0day]

How can you be sure that you actually are depressed? When do you know that you actually need help from someone else? And if you need help, how do you summon the courage to ask for it?
See, three years ago I suffered from what I thought was depression...I'm falling back into the same tracks and don't want to start what I was doing. But I don't even know that I have a problem, it could just be a bad few months. So I guess what I'm asking..how do you actually know if you are depressed? Because I don't know if what I am/have been doing is a result of depression or not, if not then I just need to stop worrying, right?

[Jennifer]

Hello:
You can start by taking our assessment and that might be helpful to you as far as getting help, always a good idea in my book. It is the strong ones that know how to ask and get the help that they need. http://www.completecounselingsolutions.com/assessments/7/Are+you+Clinically+Depressed%3

[nodaybutt0day]

I don't understand how eight simple questions can pull my mind to conclude an answer of depressed or not? So, considering the results were yes based on question one...which seems not completely legit, what now? Normally, I don't ask for help, don't even think about asking, but I need it...
I can't particularly talk to anyone close to me now...fear of misunderstanding, rejection, judgment...I don't know what it is, but something, maybe all of those. I've tried asking for help but I just can't do it, it never works. So I landed here ironically. Not that I particularly know what the problem is...I think it is just that I don't see myself when I look in the mirror, so I have no idea what other people see. I don't know if they see a lie or the truth, and if they see the truth, why don't I? Like, I constantly have to lie about my friends, family, money, scars even, just so people don't figure me out. I need to figure myself out first and what I'm dong, but I am not figuring anything out. The standstill is really beginning to irritate me

[Jennifer]

Those questions in the depression assessment are from the DSM and there is a BIG difference between being clinically depressed and just "depressed" When you suffer from clinical depression, there is a chemical imbalance in your brain that needs to regulated by medication no different if you had high blood pressure and needed medication to stablize it.

The other depression is when you feel down, unsure, not able to figure things out and just get Blue. This does not need medication, just an adjustment in what is going on and how you are thinking/feeling.

Not sure where you are going with the mirror comment? or what you want to do to help yourself, but most people do not talk to there family/friends about this kind of stuff, they seek counseling which might be something that you need as well.

[nodaybutt0day]

So, how would a seventeen year old with little to no income go to counseling without her parents finding out?

[Jennifer]

you cannot, always need parental consent. why keep how you are feeling from your parents?

[nodaybutt0day]

It's unnecessary and unneeded to "tell [my] parents how [I] feel." For many reasons or another. First off, my father isn't exactly a part of my life anymore, and my mom's boyfriend tries to be some sort of father figure but I have one dad, I don't need another...even if he isn't there. As for my mother, she has enough things to worry about, I don't need her worrying about more. To help you further understand, I have four sisters and brothers. My first sister, age 22, dropped out of high school to find herself without any stable home, moving back and forth from place to place. All while having a drinking problem that kills my mom all the time. Secondly, my brother, age 20, is suffering from anorexia while he is basically MIA somewhere in California, just walked out and left. Thirdly, my sister, age 18, lives here with her one year old. She dropped out of school when she was 16 only to find herself carrying a 23 year old's baby who happened to threaten to kill my mother. So if you can imagine, that whole baby, boyfriend situation has my mother not feeling so well at all. Then there is my fourth brother, age 7, who we are going through multiple medical examinations because they think he is dyslexic, which on its own isn't that bad, but adding it to everything else just kills my mother.
So I walk home and see the hurt from the day in my mothers eyes, why would I want to add to that? My role in the family, it is simple. I'm the one who "has to keep her head up," "stay in school," "keep faith," and so on. I'm on Honors role, have most of my first year of college completed already, straight A's, president of multiple clubs, I do whatever I think will make my mother happy. And the pressure to do well in school is especially high, because none of my older brothers and sisters have, ever. So no, when you ask me to just tell my parents...I can't. I'm not going to take away the good I try so hard to show her.

[Jennifer]

Who do you talk too? I hope that you do all the stuff that you do for yourself as well?

[nodaybutt0day]

Who do I talk to? I try to actually not get too close with anyone, I've been put down enough. So, for the most part I don't actually talk about this sort of stuff with anyone.
And of course part of me does it for myself, but if I ever wanted to do differently, I wouldn't...couldn't. If that makes sense?

[Jennifer]

Well, you are talking it out now so that is a good thing for you, but it does sound as if you have the world on your shoulders and it would be good to be able to unburden yourself so you can manage throughout the day.

[nodaybutt0day]

Yeah, but the thing is that I wish I cared. See, I care about my mother, helping out and doing whatever I can to help her, but when it comes to me or other people...I just stopped caring. Is that just typical?

[Jennifer]

You are a giver and when you give sometimes you have nothing left for yourself. Its great to care and give, but you need to care/give to yourself too.

Therapists by trait do that a lot, you might grow up to be a therapist