Postpartum Depression, Anxiety and Hubby Troubles

[Nursing_Mom]

Hi all

If you want to hear of someone with issues, I have them all. I'll begin at the beginning. Last year I found out I was pregnant, but at the same time I also found out that my husband has bi-polar disorder. We were both elated with the pregnancy and I gave birth to a beautiful, healthy baby girl. Since having her my life has changed drastically from before. I no longer work, I am currently on mat leave for 1 year. My baby is now 6 months old and I am having such a hard time. I have thoughts of suicide almost everyday. I fear someone will harm my baby for no reason. I'm afraid to be alone. I have approached my husband but due to his disorder, he seems in his own world and is unable to cope either. He doesn't want to help out much when it comes to baby care. I'm left to do all the housework and look after the baby, plus he thinks I should also have a hot meal on the table when he gets home. He's still working, but he thinks what I do with the baby all day is easy.

I also just recently discovered that my husband has been buying expensive things behind my back without telling me. Then if I have money he wants me to put it all on our bills so I will be left with nothing. If I ask him to go to the grocery store to pick up food, or baby supplies he doesn't want to or if he does he says he's only spending x amount of dollars and that's it.

I confronted him about his purchasing expensive astronomy equipment such as a new telescope which was over $700 by itself not to mention the countless accessories he also bought! When I did confront him he got really upset and hid from me. I later discovered he's been cutting himself!

So not only do I have my own depression and anxiety to deal with, I now have a husband who is doing things behind my back, cutting himself and he won't talk to me. It's like he's a complete stranger! I don't know what to do!!! Please help me so I can somewhat of a normal life again!

[Jennifer]

Hey
Sounds as if your pregnancy and birth of your baby has increased the anxiety in your life by ten folds not even considering the baby. Your husband is for sure in a manic phase if he is buying behind your back. Is he getting help for his disorder?

You say that you have post pardum? Do you have any other symptoms besides the paranoia. Please recogize that post pardum is serious and if you feel as if you cannot care for your baby you need to seek immediate medical help.

Are you going to go back to work in 6 months? How is your husband coping with work? Is he able to handle his work load? Doesn't sound as if either of you are in a good place right now which is normal for new parents but for you sounds as if it is dangerous.

When he was diagnosed, did he seek counseling or is he on medications?