Murphy's Law (The other shoe might be dropping)

[Perception]

[Jennifer]

Hey
Not sure where the murphy's law comes into your story. Are you saying that you cannot sleep because of your past or because of your present or both?

Your brain does not shut when you go to sleep, just goes into a different state and if you have unresolved issues, then your brain does not have a chance to rest at all which is no good.

Do you want to deal with the past? Are you up for that? Do you go home during breaks or stay in canada. Sounds as if you are making a great life for yourself and should be really proud of yourself which i am sure that your family is proud of you.

Do you blame yourself for the abuse (hope not) and what do you want to do to start dealing with it.

[Perception]

[Jennifer]

s hard to sit and tell someone how they shouldn't blame themselves because everyone does, but the only way to understand and to get over is to realize that the other person is sick and you had nothing to do with it. when you are a child, you do not deserve or need to know how to protect yourself from that, as an adult you can look back on it and say, yeah i should have done this or should have done that, but that will only make you loose more sleep.

as far as life events go, they happen all the time. sometimes we feel as if we are the only ones with the hard lives, but everyone goes through it. you have more stress during finals so things seem more uncontrollabl during that time.

[Perception]

[Jennifer]

No worries about over sharing and if you are worried, then feel free to donate to the forum, you don't need too only if you want too.

there will be a guy out there that will take the time that you need and work through your insecurities and you will be able to trust him just doesn't sound as if you have found him yet, no worries, concentrate on school, enjoying life and sleeping the rest will come as it is supposed too.

[Perception]

[Jennifer]

when you are ready and the person that you are with is strong enough you will open up and share. you are not ready to do that yet so don't push it.

[Perception]

[Jennifer]

actually you don't have to face them again if you do not want too. that would be a lot for you, but you do not have to deal with that now so it is a non issue.

at some point you will have to find a way to find closure and seeing the person on a daily basis or even once in a while is not a great way to find closure

[Perception]

[Jennifer]

you would have to deal with the abuse head on, meaning explain to yourself as well as to other people and that might make your life uncomfortable. when do you have to make that decision?

[Perception]

Probably during the summer. Only have one year of school left so I would probably need to know by September when I get bk so I can start making preparations for finding jobs and a permanent place if I decide to stay when I graduate.

I have always been a passive, quiet, reserved person. Not one for being in the spotlight and this well lets just say i'd be in the spotlight for A WHILE.

[Jennifer]

okay, a year is a long time to have to make a decison, but i think your mind is already made up about going home, just how you will live with it.

[Perception]