Just looking for some help...

[PlanB]

Before I go in to a rant I would like to introduce my self.
Hello... You can call me Teko. I am in fact female. My age is classified.

This is the beginning.
I was always happy... I never stopped smiling...Anything could make me laugh... I sooner or later changed schools. I was fine with the change... I liked meeting new people and I could still stay in touch with my old friends. I was at the new school for a bout a year when I began to develop a crush on someone. He was sweet always made me smile when I was down... I guess his smile caught me... Well anyways over the summer I figured out I like girls and boys, meaning I'm bisexual. He was one of the first people I told.
This is the middle.
I admitted I liked him... He was really cool about it... and apparently liked me to... I was happy as hell then. Sooner or later he asked me out, I was of course to shy to ask him... We went out for a month or so... and seriously nothing happened... Apparently I was the first person that ever liked him... And the only person that ever kissed him, on the cheek of course, was still his mom. After some time he decided he wasn't ready to date... He apologized over and over... I said it was ok... I thought I would get over him like I did with all the other boys...
This is Now.
Now I'm sitting here typing and wondering why I can't breathe when I think about him, or how my mind fogs up when hes around. I realize that I read enough books to know what these feelings are... It's love... And it's awful... He likes some other girl now... One that doesn't go to my school... And I've never seen her... I've been throwing my self down... She must be lovely... I can't get over it... Now I just want to die...
Please help...
_________________
'Tell me one more time
That you'll live
Lost in my eyes!' - Whenever Where ever.

[Jennifer]

if only they could make a pill for heartache. it is one of the hardest things to deal with and there is not anything but time that heals it.

sounds as if you have grown from your relationship with him, realize who and what you like and know what love feels like. could be worse.

i wish i had some gran answer for you on how to get over someone. I can tell you to avoid him, stay busy, find another relationship (this one is a big no, no, seems at the time the right answer, but it always ends up being the wrong one) etc, but in reality the only thing that will work will be time.

glad to see ya posting in other sections as well.

[PlanB]

Yeah... I'll start avoiding him and such... I guess I should take ever emotion with a grain of salt...
I try and stay busy, drawing constantly, writing, even scribbling.
The relationship thing would be... interesting enough... I wouldn't do it...
Thank you, it means alot that you would take time to help me.
_________________
'Tell me one more time
That you'll live
Lost in my eyes!' - Whenever Where ever.

[TwinkleJ]

I used to be just like you in high school! I would be love sick all the time. My first relationship went very much like yours. I went out with this boy, Dan...we didn't do anything as well. Everything was going well, and I was looking forward to taking our relationship to a new level, when I walked into homeroom one morning and this girl that Dan knew asked me if I was his girlfriend...well, I said yes of course, and she said "nuh uh not anymore". Then all she said was "Aaah Haaa Danny dumped you!" I tried not to cry, but as soon as homeroom was over, the tears began flowing. I went to see a mutual friend of ours, Mary, and asked her if she could ask him what was up, so she talked to him. She asked him if he had broken up with me. He said yes, and it was because I wouldn't do anything. She said that it wasn't my fault if my Mom wouldn't let me hang out, and he said "that's not what I meant." I was devastated. It took me two years to get over him, and I regret every second I spent thinking about what I did wrong. He had never even asked me to "do anything" and I had myself convinced that I would have if he asked me, so it wasn't fair.

Now, looking back, I'm glad he didn't ask, and I'm glad we broke up because I realized that I was not in love with him, I was in love with the IDEA of him. I ended up losing my virginity to a man I would later marry, and I'm very proud of that! Now that I'm married and understand what love is all about, it is even more clear. Sometimes, we just want to be loved by someone, and it's hard to be alone.

You developed a special bond with your ex, especially because he was the first person you opened up to about being bisexual. You revealed something very sacred to him, and opening up like that to anyone is like presenting yourself, vulnerable and naked, and saying "here I am, accept me" and because he broke up with you it may make you feel like he didn't accept you.

All I can tell you is to try your hardest to get on with your life and be happy. Not to sound cliche, but if it is meant to be, it will be, and no amount of crying or spending your time thinking about him will bring him to you any faster. Men, in general, are attracted to strong, independent women. If you try to forget about him, continue on with your life, and try to just have fun, I know that it is easier said than done, but you never know, he may see your new attitude and it may make him realize what he liked about you to begin with. I don't mean to get your hopes up, or anything, all I am saying is that only good will come out of getting over him, so just try as hard as you can.

I was so torn up about Dan...finally one day, I woke up, after crying the night before, and decided to just pretend that I was over him...and guess what? I really started to get over him! I found something that I enjoyed thinking about, other than him, and whenever he would pop into my mind, I would think of that instead. I kept repeating "I am so over him" or "His loss" in my head, it may work for you too. Sometimes, we say we want to get over someone, but we really don't. We even like entertaining ideas of hooking back up with the person, or repeating the relationship over and over in our minds wondering how we could have changed the outcome, but doing so will only cause more heartache.

One night in March, 2002, I was on spring break, and I at my wits end with crushes I had on boys I worked with. I called a guy friend of mine and was talking to him about it, when all of a sudden I really heard myself talking for the first time, and I didn't like how I sounded...I said. "That's it, I'm done with guys...I don't like anyone, I am not thinking about anyone, I'm just going to have fun! Screw it, I don't need a guy to have a good spring break!" He agreed, and we made plans to hang out the next night. He called me when I was getting ready to go and said that he was going to bring a guy he worked with along, and I said ok. (after grilling him about whether or not he was cute ) Well, his friend and I ended up hitting it off really well, and it was different than with any guy I had ever met. We sat in the back seat of the car together, talking, laughing, and singing to the radio, having a blast! As you can guess, that guy was my now husband, and 7 years later, we are still together!

I'm only telling you because, it can happen...you will meet that special person, but only when you allow yourself to just let go and just enjoy your life! You may feel now that your ex is the only guy for you, but you never know. It will happen when you least expect it...so allow yourself time to get over your ex, but remember: you are young, and these years are the best of your life...LIVE THEM HAPPILY...and you don't need a boy, or a girl, to be the best of yourself that you can be! He loved you because you are wonderful, and it wasn't your fault that he has commitment issues (you will find that some guys get scared when a relationship gets too serious). Any guy or girl would be LUCKY to have a girlfriend like you. There are many fish in the sea....don't forget... so when you're ready to take off your towel, get in there and start swimming!!!
_________________
~*Keep On Shining*~

[PlanB]

Thanks. That really made me smile. It means a lot that you would take the time to wright up a personal story to help me feel better. And you're right. I shouldn't cry about it or any thing like that. Just like the saying... When life gives you lemons make grape juice.
_________________
'Tell me one more time
That you'll live
Lost in my eyes!' - Whenever Where ever.

[TwinkleJ]

Haha, that's so true! Your welcome for taking the time. I, too, enjoy writing (as you can probably tell )! I also like helping people. I'll tell you what, I've been through it all...almost every topic on this website applies to me in some way, at some point in my life thus far! I swear that sometimes I feel like I've experienced more than a person my age should have, but I just go on living, and try not to let it get me down! I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason, and every experience has taught me something valuable that has made me a better, stronger person! It's always hard to see the good in a bad situation until it's over...but once it's over, you may realize that it was almost good that it happened. Good luck making your grape juice and if you ever need to talk, just respond to this post, and I'll be there!
_________________
~*Keep On Shining*~