Depression is coming back

[Erin]

About a year ago I started taking anti-depressants. For a year before that I had been progressing into an increasingly deeper depression, made all the worse for a breakup of a long-term relationship. This was not my first experience with feelings of guilt and sadness; I can remember first starting to cry through the night in 4th grade. Since then, it has recurred several times.

This last time, however, was the worst. By the time I asked my mother to take me to her doctor (the same family doctor that prescribed her anti-depressants). I was constantly considering suicide. (I hate to admit it, but I have never told my family or doctor about my suicidal thoughts. I couldn't worry them, and as soon as I thought I couldn't control the impulse, I asked my mother to take me to the doctor.)

Just having taken the step of admitting a problem and asking my doctor for help increased my mood. I was prescribed Celexa and within a few weeks I could sleep through the night again, and after 6 weeks I had my first good day. I was happy for no reason, and smiled the whole day.

Around 4 months ago I began birth control. Within a week I had an episode of extreme anxiety where I couldn't stop crying for 3 hours. This happened 3 or so more times during the 2 months I took the pill. I started to get migraines a few times a week, and my depression started to resurface. Due to these symptoms, my doctor took me off birth control. After this, despite taking my anti-depressant regularly, I am still experiencing symptoms of depression, though the anxiety and migraines have mostly gone away.

My symptoms currently aren't nearly as severe as those which brought me to the doctor originally. I do not have suicidal thoughts and for the most part I maintain healthy relationships with my family and friends. However, I do have trouble sleeping again (it takes more than an hour to fall asleep usually and I wake up several times, and usually end up with around 5 hours sleep in total). Also, I have crying spells and a huge sense of guilt about hurting the people I love, or not being good enough.

I'd just like to know if I should request an increase in medication, or if you'd advise me to work on stress management exercises or better coping mechanisms before seeking more medication? I hate to simply ask my doctor to further medicate away my problems. I would turn to a therapist, but unfortunately my insurance has such a high deductible that I'm unable to afford the cost.

Thank you for taking the time to read my (rather long) post, and I appreciate any help you can provide me.

Erin

[Jennifer]

I believe that you should get cleared medically first. there is nothing wrong with taking a prescibed medication and at the same time work on yourself through coping skills etc. basically do both.

[Erin]

Perhaps its better stated that I don't know where to start in order to help myself. I understand that going to the gym, eating better, and being around people will help me, but what are some things I can do when a wave of sadness and guilt come over me? There are times when I feel controlled by my emotions, I can't stop crying, and life simply seems hopeless, usually lasting several hours. Do you have suggestions for me when my depression gets the better of me? This happens a few times a week, lately almost daily. Otherwise I feel low-level sadness throughout the day.

[Jennifer]

if you are on meds and feeling that way then you need a med evaluation. if you suffer from clinical depression which it sounds as if you do then you cannot just snap out of your mood by exercising. make the appt to see the doc.