Depression and anxiety

[Luna]

Hello,
Thanks for giving me the oppurtunity to participate..its the first time im talking to a psychitrist in my life!
I dont know how to start..Im female 25 yrs old, and Im pretty much sure that I have depression and anxiety..its true that i never talked to a specialist about it, but i read about these subjects all the time, and can see all the symptoms in me..
I don't remember what was the event or thing that made me like this..but it started years ago , when I had that crazy habbit of making sure that lights and TV are turned off before going to sleep (many many times), and washing fruits several times, and not approaching sick people or even looking at them,,I can't control it. It took me several years before understanding that this is called OCD through reading about it..it has taken different shapes or thoughts through the years..and making my life really difficuilt.
I also feel sad and pessimistic for no reasons sometimes, overwhelmed and tired even when I wake up, lack of energy, feeling guilty , and crying alot ...but never show it to family or friends..
I feel also worried for the simplest things, or when i travel by plain (I try to avoid it as much as i can), or when I have presentations in class, and the final exams..I feel so worried that i feel my heart is going to jump out of my chest..can't get rid of this feeling
I attributed all these overwhelming and painful feelings to the fact that I live in a war-torn country, but even after moving to the US (to study for my Master's), im still having them and never overcame them.. Now its affecting my study (feel so unmotivated, worried, and troubled) plus I noticed that I just don't concentrate sometimes in class that I miss many points..
My everlasting problem is that I never had the courage to go to a doctor and talk about all this,,its just hard for me, but i feel torn as well.

Im sorry for this long post..

[Jennifer]

Hello:
Glad that you are reaching out for help. Sounds like you have been dealing with a lot all by yourself and it has finally gotten overwelming. Have you checked out our assessments yet? We have one on depression, anxiety and OCD. Anxiety can be by itself,but mostly it is under the umbrella of depression. Take the assessments so we can see what we are dealing with.

Why are you so fearful to go to the doctor? What do you think will happen.

[Luna]

Thanks for the reply, I just took the assessments..
Why feeling afraid of going to a doctor? well,, coz this has been going on for along time ( alomst 10 yrs), and I just feel weird to sit infront of a person and tell these crazy things about myself..there were times when I feel so determined to go and see somebody (specially after watching TV programmes about depressed people and their suffering), but when I wake up the next day, I simply change my mind and try to dismiss the idea.. I need to tell you that this is all silent suffering (though my family noticed some of these things), but I don't show it as if I put a mask on my face and show people that Im comfortable and confident.
Maybe it's also a cultural disfference, since where I come from, people look with doubt towards psychiatrists and wonder about the amount of help or comfort the doctors can offer! (although my family encouraged alot to see a doc. if I want to).

Thanks

[Jennifer]

What would help you make the first step to making an appointment. The relationship that you have with a counselor is about trust and how you feel about that person. If you are going to change, it will have to come from you? The counselor (I am trying to help you get away from using doctor ) will only be able to guide you if you are ready to change. Are you ready??