CONQUERED EMOTIONALLY ABUSIVE MOTHER?

[FRUMOSUN1]

I HAVE AN EMOTIONALLY ABUSIVE MOTHER AND SHE IS DESTROYING MY SOUL...IM TEN YEARS LATE IN ASKING FOR HELP... IM 30 YRS OLD NOW,LIVING THE LIFE OF AN INNOCENT PRISONER IN A SPIRITUAL DUNGEON,CONSTANTLY BEING ABUSED VERBALLY.MENTALLY,AND EMOTIONALLY,SHE PUTS GUILT AND SHAME ON ME EVERYTIME I TRY TO "BE MYSELF " CURSING ME AND STRIPPING ME OF MY VALUE,PURE-HATRED,WARFARE TOWARDS MY SOUL FROM MY MOTHER? I AM EXTREMELY VALUABLE TO THIS WORLD...BUT NOT IF IM SHACKLED AND TORTURED AT THE CORE OF MY BEING.I AM AFRAID TO BE AROUND OTHER PEOPLE BECAUSE EVERYONE WILL TREAT ME LIKE THIS,SO IT FEELS WITHIN ME EVEN THOUGH I KNOW ITS NOT TRUE IN MY MIND....................HAS ANYONE GONE THROUGH WHAT IM GOING THROUGH AND IF SO...WHATS THE SECRET TO WHIPPING THIS THING AND HOW TO RESPOND TO IT WHEN IT DIRECTS ITSELF TOWARDS ME AGAIN?.........(NICK)

[Jennifer]

Hey Nick
Sorry to hear that you are in such a state that you feel as if you have no other options. I have not been in your position but I do have a sometimes over bearing mother that I love very much and she loves me, but if I am not careful, she can become too much and I have to stand up for myself and tell her to back off and then the cycle starts over again.

Whether your mom means what she does or not it is going to take you to stand up to her to change your situation I know not easy to do but sounds very necessary for your soul

[Kia808]

I know what you are talking about! The emotional stress, the mental breakdowns! Feels like when people look at you the first thing they see is everything your mother accuses you of being! You shy away from others just to avoid that feeling! But then being alone only puts what your mother is saying into a trance of truth, or so it feels! Suffering yourself with repeatative images of the strain your mother puts on you! Causing you to shut down in ways you never thought could happen to you! In ways where you feel others would never understand you, so you keep your thoughts to yourself! Then those thoughts start to take control of you, taunt you, and cause more depression!

Im not hear to tell you how to get over it, for I am just now looking for help with the same problem! I am 26yrs old, and my grandfather has been my abuser physically, mentally, and definetly emotionally through my past years! All of this has happened from age 9-21, and yet at age 26, I still feel the same then, as I do now! I thought I could just move on with my life and get over it eventually! But I was wrong! For only moments at a time, life would seem to be fine without the affects of what abuse can really do to you! Until the days where depression of my childhood decide to come out and play! It really affects my life! I struggle to get up and do things... something...anything! I have locked myself in my room without contact to anyone for 4 days! Didnt call my job to tell them anything, didnt answer or make any out going calls! Never showered or left my room at all, I snacked on little things but not really eating just to keep me from starving, and I laid in bed for four days... feeling like no one even cared that I was gone!

These are some symptoms of allowing someone to treat you the way you should NOT be treated! Even thoughts of suicide run through my head! But I am proud to say I am bigger than that! I never worry too much about suicide because I know I can stand strong against it by thinking about all my loved ones! Though, it still bothers me that thought of suicide do cross my mind!

I believe in order to get out of this for me is to go through with therapy... and get my motivation and life back! You know in High School I was very popular, so loved and energetic! People always loved to be around me and see what I was doing before and after school just so they could hang out with me! But, Did you ever think that the most popular kid in school suffered from depression and abuse!?

Well, I hope I can be of some help to you as I hope you can be for me! I hope you do respond! Stay strong, stand strong, be strong!

Alohaz,
Kia808
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KiA808