Very Intresting!

[fufuminuit]

WOW! I had no idea what I was going to find here. Some very intresting reads... that's for sure.

I have been diagnosed with Bi-polar Disorder (NOS). I am 29 years old. I have had some symptoms since my teen years. But nothing alone would suggest bi-polar. Mood swings, irritablility, risky actions. It wasn't until after I started using drugs after my first marrage that the symptoms were appearant. But I was using drugs... Quit the drugs and I will be normal again. Well I think the drug use was all part of the bi-polar. Anyways... that was all some 10years ago. I was diagnosed at age 21 or 22. There was no evidence that I had mania.... but had been treated for depression (unsuccessfully).

I have likey been floating around in various stages of mixed states for many many years... Until recently... (please note that I am no longer doing drugs for several years now.) I think I had my first full blown manic episode. I consider myself a rapid cycler anyways. But my boyfriend and I went to a party and I completely flipped. I don't remember much of it. I was dilusionaWl and had hallucinations and was physically out of control. All I remember was someone choking me. It took 3 grown men to hold me down. These men were about 250 lbs each. I'm only 130. I somehow ended up walking around a town I don't know at an early morning hour...
Needless to say I am extremely embarrassed about this whole event.
This was a month or two ago.

I no longer try to characterize me in a Bi-polar 1 or Bi-polar 2 kind of way. I look at it more in a spectrum view... Where am I in the bi-polar spectrum? Today I am hypo-manic... I haven't taken my meds this morning... come to think of it I forgot to last night as well... No wonder I had a hard time sleeping. I tend to not take the Serequel in the morning though because it makes me drowsy.

Over the years I have been on numerous meds... Not taking anyone of them regularly enough to let anyone of them work. Until this past year or two. Med compliance has always been an issue with me. It has taken years of denial being hospitalized for my diabetes (type1) to accept that I have to take insulin everyday... several times a day. Anyway I am a walking pharmacy these days.

I could keep on and on... and I really have no idea the point of this post but it sure was the highlight of my morning.

Have a good day and I am here for anyone of you on your bad days... Cause there will be good days too. I am proof.

fufu

[Jennifer]

Sounds like you have grown as a person through your experiences and have a great outlook on life. Please feel free to post to anyone's comments. Are you steadily on meds now? Does it help? Yes, drug use does mask symptoms of either depression or mania, the self medicating routinine.

Thanks for sharing