Slitting and Purging

Starry333 · Joined: 09 Oct 2008 Posts: 10

I am a 13 year old bipolar gurl who doesnt know what to do. im movin w/ my mama and sister away from my dad who is a drunk and a dumbass. my mama keeps yelling at me 2 pack. im falling behind in my school work. im in love with a gurl who i dont even think loves me. my body disgusts me. im avoiding my ex and i think pissing her off. and not 2 mention ive tried to commit suicide multiple times. please help me. i dont no wat 2 do and im losing it. im going insane.

Jennifer · Site Admin Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 2356

Would your family consider therapy for you? Sounds like you are in a bad r place. Is living with your mom better than living with you dad? Are you suicidial right now? If so, please call 911 or visit your local emergency room.

When did things get so bad??

Starry333 · Joined: 09 Oct 2008 Posts: 10

my mama would definately be better 2 live with. plus shes the only one whos seen my wrist in my family. i told her it was a 1 time mistake. i think it all started when i first fell in luv w/ a gurl named summer. she was a slitter. it caught on 2 me and from then its just gotten worse. my friend eve knows about all this but all she can really do is just worry about me.

Jennifer · Site Admin Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 2356

Do you confide in your mom, is she supportive? Is summer the right one for you?

Starry333 · Joined: 09 Oct 2008 Posts: 10

i dont tell my mama after that 1 time she saw and me and summer are long over with. also my mama YET AGAIN decided 2 stay with my dad. also my friend is stressin me out cuz she wont tell me something as simple as a guy she likes. i stress easyily. 2day i am also a little stressed cuz i got a solo 2 sing.

Jennifer · Site Admin Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 2356

solo's are cool, can you talk to a guidance counselor at school?

Starry333 · Joined: 09 Oct 2008 Posts: 10

uhh...honestly i really dont want anyone 2 no. plus coach z (the counselor) makes me nervous.

Jennifer · Site Admin Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 2356

I say this because you need help and I cannot help you during school hours and if this is the only time that you can write, then i would want you to get help professionaly.

What makes you nervous about the counselors?

Starry333 · Joined: 09 Oct 2008 Posts: 10

im a quiet gurl. i like to keep 2 myself. plus hed probably tell my parents. not 2 mention i gotta keep a low profile on the whole lesbian thing.

Jennifer · Site Admin Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 2356

why do you have to keep a low profile on the lesbian thing. wouldn't it be a good thing if your parents knew that you were in pain?

Starry333 · Joined: 09 Oct 2008 Posts: 10

our little country town isnt big on that but my parents no...about the lesbian. i dont like people to know what im going through cuz i dont wanna go through it. gtg. 2nd hour.

Starry333 · Joined: 09 Oct 2008 Posts: 10

the other day friday i think i cut again. i also told my mama i cut but i said this was another one time thing. also the gurl i love is now gonna marry some dude 10 years older than her that i never met. i wanna kill myself. i tried to the other night by drowning but yet again i stopped my self at the last second. i spent most of the night rocking back and forth calling out her name.

Jennifer · Site Admin Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 2356

If you are doing what you say that you are doing, you need professional help. This forum cannot help you if you are suicidial as well as using school time to write here.

Please seek out help and ask for help from your local professionals.