HELP!!!!

[scmittenhusband]

I love my wife, she's beautiful, funny, charming, brillant and lights up a room with just a smile. But, she's bipolar. I fell for her immediately and had a whirlwind romance - that I don't regret. I would die for her. But, our marriage has been one struggle after another. I left May 1, because i was just warn out. She's filed for divorce. The problem is we both are madly in love with each other and so angry at each other at the same time. I've not been very wise with my career choices - some would say even lazy, naive or stubborn - would accept how that could be said. We've struggled financially because I've not had income that provides emotional stability. That's translated in to much insecurity for her. And according to my wife, that's triggered a number of physical and emotional explosions. I've been struck, spit on, or cussed at probably at least one every two weeks, or one a month for 18 months of marriage.... I can't accept that behavior. She's been explosively angry at events surrounding my jobs. In fact, she's really been a negative force on my jobs. Meanwhile, she's pushing me to work harder, make more money. Etc. etc. etc. in a very tough economy. She's expecting me to go with her to nearly everyone of her doctors appointments (She has 4 or 5).. while i have a work schedule that she didn't understand... she's also cussed out member of my family. She's accused me of cheating, or rather that other women are trying to cheat with me. Seems like the needs constant attention. I love her.. I want to save our marriage. I want to with all my heart. I want to restore our love to its original form. I know she adores me. I adore her. I'm now starting to be very angry and have my extreme anger-filled moments...as if i've been banking it up. Almost everyone to a person says its a lost cause. The ones who don't say, its a hard task but you should seek restoration but it won't come quickly. Help.. I love this woman. I want to live my life with her and her alone. But i dont want to be abused or allow bad behavior either.. and i don't want to respond in unhealthy ways or create unhealthy stress... i know i've caused a lot of the problems too.. i just want to be a good husband and be a source of healing for her.... i love her...

[Jennifer]

I wish that loving someone was enough to make a marriage work, but it is not. There needs to be a level of compatibility that you and your wife are missing right now. How has the seperation been for both of you? Maybe working on yourselfs individually for now will make your relatiionship stronger?

[AprilDriesse]

Quite ironic, but..

This sounds so much like myself and my fiancee. My only suggestion is that you need to pray, and do a lot of it. While Jen is right, you still do love her, and I know how that one goes. Believe me, I'm in the same situation as yourself with my fiancee. I love him so much, were both so angry due to financial problems, but at the same time so madly in love. I'm willing to sacrifice the world for him, and he to me.

I am living with Bipolar Disorder Type 2, which is the roller coaster affect, and off medication due to the fact that I can not afford them anymore. Trust me when I say this, it has been a constant struggle, and I can relate to your wife very much.

The reason she feels the constant need for attention is because us bipolar people always feel as though were going to loose the people were close to, so the people we are with, we want them to give us their whole and complete attention, and if not, then everything hits the roof.

This week, I have been struggling with this disorder the most. One minute I'll be yelling at my fiancee Jason and calling him mean names, and then the next I'll be wanting to cuddle and be all lovey-dovey with him. The things that I can see trigger my emotional mood swings and set them out of balance are stress, death and friends.

When I say friends, is because they have the most impact on me, and want to try and push me in the right direction, and because I want to learn from my own mistakes, I get angry and upset with them.

As for deaths, my close friend Mary died suddenly two days ago, and death is not something that I am fond of, nor do I tolerate very well. Things that run through my mind are the "Why's, the How's and many of the what if's" and the sense that I didnt get to say goodbye. I also worry about if they felt pain when they died or not, and this seems to get to me. The last three times I was in a mental institution, death was what triggered me to go off.

As far as stress, these things I am not too fond of, nor do I know why they exist. I wish stress would banish and never come back, because my life would be so much better without it. The good stress triggers my anxiety and panic attacks, and the bad stress triggeres emotional meltdowns, and hospitalizations. Financial Stress has been taking the biggest toll on me these days. I am very nervous and skiddish right now, because both Jason and I do not have income, nor can we seem to find a job. Our rent was due today, and we owe the phone and internet company $500+ and the cable bill is also due for $200+. We budgeted well, but didnt expect the lay offs from work, and we kept putting the bills off, because we didnt have the money, and now the bills are piling up and no one can help us. Were very lucky that we havent been kicked out, and the phone net and cable are still on. Financial stress is taking a toll on my relationship, and my mental status as well. I am trying my damndest to make things work, but no matter how hard I try, I either am depressed, extremly happy for no reason, go on spending sprees, or I am suicidal. My moods are extremly out of wack.

Then theres the fact that I am trying to get SSI. I have the appointment for psychologist Monday, and maybe they will approve me right then, and all my problems be solved, but I doubt it. My fiancee is also scared, and hes scared so badly that he tries to push me away.

My Fiancee Jason, while not been formerly diagnosed with anything yet, has what I think to believe as multiple personality disorders that get worst with stress. He has "Jason" then he has "StormCrow" and then he had "JayStorm" and he has "Mike Steele" All of these personalities were created for one reason or the next. His remedy right now is journaling, but his anger is so bad. He tells me that he doesnt love me, or that I am cheating, and its quite the contrary, when I'm trying my hardest to make both us survive in the struggling economy.

You just have to stay strong and pray. Thats what we do. Pray.
_________________
April-Marie Driesse
"If you give it your all, then no one can fault you" BGen Campbell