Bi-polar disorder ?

[mmaryelizabeth9]

In the disorder, I know there is different types but I don't actually know the types,but I want to know is there a type that involves getting anger outrages,getting overly happy and getting depressed all in a day.

My bestfriend is Bi-polar and he has told me recently that If I got checked out,I would be diognosied with bi-polar disorder.So he thinks I have it.
Ever since I met him and he told me his first time that he was bi-polar and what it exactly was well he explained it as manic-depressive disorder because it was easier but when he told me and described the way it worked,I thought I had it too.We are so much alike, and recently when he told me he thought I have it,I told him I knew he wsa gonna say that because I had an instinct.
I just felt like theres actually people like me,and feel the same way I do.
I honestly don't like myself,I ruin every good thing I get.I do everything wrong.I say things to hurt my bestfriend when thats the least thing I would want to do.and after its all said and done ,I dont have nothing to say to explain myself or give reason just that I wasnt thinking or I was just joking.It's horrible because I've never had a real friend,I've either been backstabbed or they moved and said they would talk in touch and never did.All my life I've never had many friends.I'm the person that gets made fun of and laughed at because I'm fat.
My whole childhood I got teased for being fat and I have tried so hard lately and people still put me down,they dont know how hard it is.
I cry everynight,Because I hate myself.
I've never had a boyfriend.No guys even look at me twice.
I'm a loser with a capital L.
My dad died when I was 6 and I 've missed him terribly since.
He was the only one that understood me,
I love him.
Me and my bestfriend just got in a big arguement yesterday because I said I couldnt tell him somethin because I'm afraid he'll tell someone and then he put everything I said out and saidd I dont bellieve in this relationship and I dont have faith.
Then another one of our friends came and we had to stop talking to I asked him to call later.
We walked and I started saying things I didn't mean like your a pussy because he could tackle me down and hes dirty and smells like shit and that he should hang out with his ex because there the head of dirty.
And so much other thing I said like I dont have faith and then he went to his ex's house and started hanging with everyone and I started talking to him and he said dont talk to me I dont know you and he had a striaght face and then I went up to him and trying to hold his hand and say sorry,he pulled away and said dont touch me I dont know you.Then I was throwing stuff at him to get his attention to go on awalk and talk and he snapped at me saying stop throwing that fucking shit at me and I left and went on a walk and cryed my eyes out.Last night I felt like killing myself and I would actually go through with it if the thought hadnt went through my mind that he might talk to me tomarrow.

Here tomarrow is and I wake up crying missing him.I cant stay mad at him and I never could for more then 20 minutes and actually ment it.

He never called me last night.
i SCREW UP EVERYTHING.i DONT DESERVE HIM HE DESERVES SO MUCH BETTER BECAUSE IM A PIECE OF SHIT THAT DONT BELONG.NOBODY LOVES ME NOW.I DESERVE TO FREAKING DIE.[/i][/b]

[Jennifer]

You started talking about getting diagnosed and then went into a fight you had with your friend. Getting diagnosed and gettng the proper help with have a positive affect on your life. Once you get a hold on your self then you can work on the relationships in your life. Focus on finding out what is wrong with you, so you can move forward in a successful way.

Self awarness is better than wondering. Can you get diagnosed? Do you have health insurance? You will need to go see a psychatrist, not a general doctor. Sometimes primary care physicians will prescribe medications without an explanation. You need to be under the correct care, then we can work on how you feel about yourself.

It takes courage to admit that there is something wrong and even more courage to want to change, you should be proud of yourself for wanting more for yourself and for those that you love.

[Jennifer]

I wrote an article for you, check it out: How does bipolar affect a family?