Wow...

JMT1986 · Joined: 19 Jan 2009 Posts: 18

Ok I already know i suffer from depression and anxiety. I have my bad days and then i have my worse days but i try to hold it in as much as passable and keep the demons at bay if u will. As of late every time i try to go to sleep i have panic attacks and i cant figure out why. There keeping me up all night and when i do finally crash i either only sleep for a few hours or i sleep all day and waking up any were after 1 pm makes me mad espically this time of year cuz i dont have much time for sun light granted in the summer i wish the sun would go away cuz i have issues dealing with the heat but thats a different story. any way my first question is what can i do so i can actually fall a sleep on the schedule i want instead of fighting all night with panic attacks till i finally do crash???

Im assuming this falls under anxiety sorry if im being rambling by the way but here is rant/question number two. You said im not allowed to be violent or sexually graphic on here so i will tone this down with still trying to get my question across... When i was a little kid i remember that i had day dreams about my mother taking her own life in graphic ways. As i got older it was day dreams about my friends in either the same situations or getting there lifes taken by someone else... i remember there now cuz this was something i was suppressing untill a few nights ago when they happened about my girlfriend and my roommate. I wish i could go further into detail as to what i see cuz im sure it would help me and help u realise whats going on with me. But i guess for question number two is what does that mean, why does it happen to me, and how do i make it stop??? Shocked

Jennifer · Site Admin Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 2356

Hello:
I think your questions both have to do with each other. the graphic dreams are making you unable to sleep and freaked out at night. Panic attacks are under the umbrella of anxiey which is a part of depression.

People have panic attacks because they do not have effective coping skills and let things build up to a point of breaking where as your body/mind cannot handle things anymore.

Seems that in order to sleep better, you need to work on what you need to work on and stick to a routine that you can stick too.

JMT1986 · Joined: 19 Jan 2009 Posts: 18

Yea i have always been really good at suppressing stuff and holding it in i have done it all my life maybe this is my bodys way of telling me i need to figure out some way to let things out and let go??? im not sure how to go about doing this though. I have a journal i try talking to ppl but the memorys and thoughts and pain still exist all the same so im confused and got nothing... im just thinking thats what i need to somehow do. any sugestions???

Jennifer · Site Admin Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 2356

do you exercise? any relaxation techniques you use? yes the thoughts will be there, but when them come you have to be ready for them and know they are just thoughts and cannot hurt you. you need to keep your stress level down in order to stay focused on healing.

JMT1986 · Joined: 19 Jan 2009 Posts: 18

i havent really excersised in a long while, i do however draw, and i started painting to try to relieve stress

Jennifer · Site Admin Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 2356

thats great, might be a good idea to do it at night, anything that can get the day out of you so you can relax throughout the night. our brains do not stop at night, just in a different state of relaxation so they need to be trained sometimes to let the day go and drift into the night

JMT1986 · Joined: 19 Jan 2009 Posts: 18

thats a good idea i just hope i can get my mind under control again i always get close then i have another freak out spell then i have to fight with it again sometimes it takes a few weeks sometimes a few months i just wish i could get myself to a constant state of the good and happy me and not let things get to me like they do

Jennifer · Site Admin Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 2356

one day at a time, what you just did is how anxiety builds up and you keep on worrying about things you cannot control. all you can control is how you act and react nothing more.

JMT1986 · Joined: 19 Jan 2009 Posts: 18

i think there in lies the problem. i have never really had control over my reactions they kinda take control over me. I have issues with letting go of the past and letting my feelings out. I dont know why i have many loving and supportive people around me but its just hard to let go and let things out. so its harder for me to react in a rational manner on the inside. and sometimes on the outside as well

Jennifer · Site Admin Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 2356

Okay, sounds as if you have a good starting place. You are in control of your emotions, they come from you and you are the only one that can decide how to act/react.

JMT1986 · Joined: 19 Jan 2009 Posts: 18

do u have any suggestions as to how to start trying to take this control as apposed to them taking over me???

Jennifer · Site Admin Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 2356

want you to come up with some solutions first then I will help. the only way this will work is if you believe it and its easier to believe if you think of it yourself Very Happy

JMT1986 · Joined: 19 Jan 2009 Posts: 18

got ya so its kinda a sink or swim deal

Jennifer · Site Admin Joined: 27 May 2007 Posts: 2356

nah, i would say more it is try and then try again until something works and keep on doing it until it stops working, then try again. never stop trying.

JMT1986 · Joined: 19 Jan 2009 Posts: 18

good point i do tend to give up pretty quick with a lot of things i need to stop cuz i have amazing ideas and life goals i just never know were to begain